âWith Thanksgiving coming this week, I wanted to share 20 things Iâm thankful for in 2020. This year has been very difficult for a ton of reasons. These is in no particular order after the first one! Letâs get started:
2. My mom, brother, and nana.
3. My husband.
4. My brother-in-laws and mother-in-law.
12. My mom, brother, friends, mother-in-law, and brother-in-laws health following their COVID diagnosis.
20. The holidays and the holiday magic we all create together.
I don't want to spend too much time on the intro, because I really want to focus on these five lies that we just need to stop feeding into:
1. "DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF."
Comparisons happen every day in every society. A company may choose one candidate over the other because, compared to one another, one just stands out. Comparison is a fact of life, and sometimes it can be good to compare yourself to others. This is in the case of salary negotiations, relationships with significant others (you spend more time with one person than you spend with me), and more.
TAKE-AWAY: Comparing yourself can actually help identify injustices that many face. What you should not do is derive all your life's meaning from that comparison.
2. SOCIETAL STANDARDS OF BEAUTY
I see so many people complaining about the societal standards of beauty who will continue to support and look up to those standards of beauty as if they are the holy grail. We can't continue to do that. We can't just like a video because the person who made it is pretty. Let's like and share content because it adds something to our day: knowledge, laughs, or a smile!
3. "HARD WORK ALWAYS GETS REWARDED"
Advocating for yourself and your time is a better way to seek out positive outcomes for your good work. Hard work can become expected, even in times of crisis. Advocate for your time at work. Advocate for yourself when in a relationship that doesn't seem to be improving despite the work you're putting into it.
4. "YOUNG PEOPLE ARE NAIVE AND UNEDUCATED"
I've always been a fan of learning new things and growing. However, on the occasions that I've really educated myself in an area that I know many who scrutinize me don't know much about, it is hard to be silent as I am disregarded. I've spent four years in college, and nearly six out of college working in various fields. Young people aren't uneducated or naive, they just see the world differently. I'm sure when I am 60 that I'll also think the youngsters are crazy and just don't get it.
5. BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER
If you have uncles and aunts that make you uncomfortable, you shouldn't have to invite them to your cookout. If you have a sister who has a physically abusive boyfriend, you shouldn't feel pressured to invite him to a party or feel bad for telling your sister that he isn't invited.
The truth is that real family are those people who are your friends. I know for me, my mom and brother are my blood and my real family. They care about me, ask about me, and aren't afraid to call me out when I mess up. I'm glad to have that in my friend Jeremy and my husband Jonathan, too.
In early August, my home state of North Carolina was rocked by the news that a 5-year-old boy named Cannon was shot and killed by his 25-year-old neighbor.
Cannon was riding his bike when Darius Sessoms killed him in front of his two sisters. Austin, Cannon's father, says he was filled with rage, but couldn't leave Cannon's side after the incident. Here are some things you should know about this killing:
Now, with all of that being said, I feel the need to address something that's been going around as of late. A number of people are making this a racial issue, saying that the story isn't getting the media coverage it deserves because it is a black on white crime instead of a white on black crime. A number of people are asking where Black Lives Matter is in this.
THE OUTRAGE CLAIM
"WHY ARE YOU OUTRAGED OVER A CRIMINAL'S DEATH AND NOT SEEMINGLY AS OUTRAGED OVER A CHILD'S DEATH?"
That was obviously different from this case, but the hurt felt by the family and the community is just as powerful.
Many angry people are asking where Black Lives Matter is and why they can be outraged over something happening to a criminal (or suspected one) that leads to their death and not this. Let me unpack it for you in bullet points:
I'd like to end my post by reiterating that what happened to this child is disgusting and heartbreaking, and I hope that Sessoms is prosecuted to the full extent of the law. I have linked the family's GoFundMe page when I first mentioned it. I pray that you read this with an open mind and you can see that these two things just don't need to be compared. They are awful and anyone who kills anyone else should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, regardless of their race or their job title.
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Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.