I was on Twitter the other day and I saw that #VideoGamesAreToBlame was a trending topic. After reading some of the tweets, it seems that this was a statement that was made by the president after the recent shootings in El Paso, Texas and Dayton, Ohio.
Some people may jump into the comments alleging that he never really said that. But, this notion that video games are to blame for people's horrendous actions has been a topic of discussion for decades. I wanted to come on here today to talk about the real issue: racism and a lack of care for mental health.
THE HISTORY OF CORRELATION BETWEEN VIDEO GAMES AND MASS SHOOTINGS
While there has been research that suggests that video games can desensitize people of a certain age, I don't believe that there is concrete evidence that video games can induce thoughts of violence among healthy, functioning people of an appropriate age.
So, if it isn't video games, what is it?
LET'S TALK ABOUT RACISM FIRST
I want to bring up racism because, at least in recent years, it has motivated a lot of terrible people to commit terrible acts. The Charleston Church shootings played a role in inciting similar acts in the name of white supremacy.
The El Paso shooter, who I refuse to name, is a 21-year-old who wrote a racist and anti-immigrant document, according to CNN. The manifesto, titled "The Inconvenient Truth," was put online only 20 minutes before the shooting happened and discussed "race mixing."
Regardless of your thoughts on our current president, he has made some pretty strange remarks about people from different, non-white countries. It doesn't matter what he meant to say, what matters is what he said and how it was perceived.
NOW LETS TALK ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH IN AMERICA
No wonder men have a higher suicide rate than women. They are constantly told to shut themselves off to emotion and pain. As a part of my job, I have to take photos of my coworkers. Some of the men refuse to smile. I got curious one day, so I Googled, "why don't some men smile in pictures?" The answer I found from another man was:
"I think it is largely due to the idea of them portraying a sense of masculinity...Everyone is smiling, except Mr. Macho Man who believes smiling is a form of weakness and would rather choose from his arsenal of looks..." -Lucas Pool on Quora
Seventy-one percent of the attackers had been victims of bullying. Let's move further. Eighty-seven percent of the attackers left behind evidence that they were victims of severe bullying. Most school shooters also go after those who bullied them, but don't have an issue killing anyone who gets in their way.
According to this same article, about 80 percent of school shooters got their guns from home. Workplace shooters already have their guns at home for the most part.
WHAT WE SHOULD REALLY BE TALKING ABOUT
Recently, it was revealed that 13 Reasons Why, a Netflix original series that discusses the life and death of Hannah. A lot of people don't want to show to continue due to its strong themes of suicide, sexual assault, and bullying. Today, I want to tell you 13 reasons why I do and don't want a new season of 13 Reasons Why.
I mean no disrespect to anyone of either opinion. I simply want to give my reasons for wanting and not wanting another season.
"Dos" will be in green, "Don'ts" will be in red.
1: THE BOOK ISN'T A PROBLEM WITH MANY PEOPLE
2: HAS TRIGGERED SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
3: BUT IT SHEDS LIGHT ON A SAD REALITY
4: THE STORY PASSES BLAME FOR SOMEONE'S DECISION
5: HOWEVER, IT IS IMPORTANT THAT PEOPLE KNOW THAT DECISIONS ARE SOMETIMES MADE BASED OFF OF THE ACTIONS OF OTHERS
If someone is telling you to kill yourself, I don't think that the bully should be held completely unaccountable for their actions. A lot of people have limits to their mental health, especially those who are going undiagnosed and untreated for a mental illness.
6: THE ACTORS ARE REALLY GOOD
7: THE SHOW IS WELL-PRODUCED
8: IT IS REALLY HARD TO WATCH SOME SCENES
9: THE STORYLINE LEAVES YOU WANTING MORE ANSWERS
10: UNDERAGE PEOPLE AND PEOPLE WITH MENTAL HEALTH DISORDER CAN ACCESS THESE STORIES AND MAY NOT UNDERSTAND HOW TO PROCESS IT
If you've never heard of the show, or your friends suggest it to you and you decide to check it out, you might find yourself being drawn in by its sinister nature. You might even think that Hannah will turn things around or that the whole thing will get better.
11. NETFLIX HAS PARENTAL CONTROLS
12: CHILDREN CAN WATCH WITH FRIENDS OR ADULTS WITH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS COULD HAPPEN UPON THE SERIES AND GET TRIGGERED
13: I WANT TO SEE THE CHARACTERS DEVELOP
Again, I mean no disrespect to anyone of either opinion when it comes to this post. I always believe that people are more important than a show and that their health and safety should come first. I hope that there is a way the two can co-exist.
Whenever we millennials were young, we were always told to be humble. We were fed this idea that owning our success made us egotistical and full of ourselves. While I believe this can become true if we don't stay humble, I believe it is this life lesson that makes many in my generation feel like they aren't successful in life.
Let's talk about the four reasons we need to change our perceptions on owning our successes. I've added some photos highlighting some of my personal successes! I'm super blessed to have been given the gifts that I was given and growing up with a mom, brother, and grandparents who always encouraged and supported the cultivation of those gifts.
1. STRAIGHT UP, SUCCESS IS EARNED REGARDLESS OF
First female Drum Major at my college
Success is defined as "the accomplishment of an aim or purpose." If you set a goal for yourself at your job to complete a task and you completed it, you were successful!
Success by definition must be earned. It comes usually through hard work, passion, and determination.
There is a right and wrong way to celebrate your success. You can acknowledge your success without coming off in a conceited way. This could mean that you accept an award, reporting on your success, or you simply share your success while never forgetting those who helped you accomplish your successes. For me, that means acknowledging that I do all things through Christ. I'll talk more about this later.
Think of owning success as a type of currency. When you work a job, you expect to be paid for it. When you complete a job, you can take the pat on the back!
2. IT IS SERIOUSLY DAMAGING OUR PSYCHE
Recent studies show that the millennial generation is the most anxious generation yet. A big stereotype attached to the millennial generation is that we feel we should be rewarded for every little thing we do right. But, I have a counter to this opinion.
I feel that millennials actually aren't rewarded for even the big things we do right. Back in the day, if you worked hard at your job and took on more responsibility, management saw your commitment to the job and rewarded you with raises and promotions.
Member of the Millennial Commission for the City of Fayetteville, N.C.
Forbes Magazine even dedicated an entire article to the topic "Why Are Millennial Salaries Disproportionately Low?" They found that millennials have a large unemployment rate, not necessarily because of laziness, but because of the demand for experience in the work force.
Millennials are also saddled with an average of $37K in student loan debt after being told by the generation before us that college was needed for a better salary and benefits.
As a matter of example, I was making $11 and hour as a journalist with my degree right out of college. My husband has no college degree and makes about the same amount working in landscaping right now. I know this isn't everyone's story.
All of this was to simply say that we've taken losses in a lot of areas our parents didn't necessarily have to. We are anxious because of money and a lack of feeling successful, but we simply don't celebrate the successes we do have because we were told by society to be humble when we were younger!
With so much already stressing out our generation, we should lift ourselves up when we accomplish something great!
3. WE SHOULDN'T LET OTHERS CONTROL US
2015 Intercollegiate Broadcasting System's Best On-Air Personalities Finalist for our college radio show Gabbie and the Ghost!
The perception of others really shouldn't control us, anyway. Like, who cares if a relative you see once a year doesn't "like" your Facebook post about being selected for a new leadership position at your job?
Who cares if a toxic friend is upset that you posted about a recent success?
At the end of the day, remember this saying that I think I just made up: "You ain't a remote, so stop letting people control you." Be proud of yourself and let those who truly care about you be proud of you, too!
We all spend FAR too much time caring what other people think. At the end of the day, you have to live in your own body, and that means you need to be happy with yourself.
4. WE HAVE TO OWN OUR SUCCESS FIRST
If you lack self-confidence, it can be hard to recognize what you've accomplished. I'm still struggling with this personally. I am a Christian and there's a lot of stigma about success in this faith. However, I credit all my successes in life to Jesus first, but recognize that I was given talents and gifts in this life to help connect other people to the Lord and to themselves! If you don't believe in yourself and the ability to accomplish great things, it simply won't happen.
That's why it is so important that we recognize our own successes first.
2014 Miss Methodist (College Pageant) Miss Congeniality
In these cases, you can't simply write off your success because someone else didn't recognize you for it. Set goals for yourself. Accomplish things for yourself. It makes being recognized for those successes that much more fulfilling!
1. DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT OUR LIFESTYLES
A lot of people assume that plus sized people are lazy, don't eat good food, and overall that they choose to be the size that they are.
This is a photo of me when I was younger. Only a few short years later, I blew up and became pretty big for my age. Things stayed that way despite my being involved in some sports like softball and track and field (the field part) as well as marching band.
I loved fruits and veggies (still do) so much so that I actually remember getting carrot packs in my stocking!
2. DON'T DISCOUNT MY GREATNESS BECAUSE I'M PLUS SIZED
I recently went on a bit of a rant about this on my Instagram (go follow me!) because I faced a situation where I felt like someone with the same or fewer qualifications as I have was lifted above me and given recognition. The only difference was our size.
This seemingly happens to me all the time. Because I don't meet an expected standard of societal beauty, I'm completely discounted. I'm not smart enough or pretty enough to be recognized for my greatness.
This is one of the few -isms that still exist without a lot of people being angry about it.
3: CHARGING AN OBSCENE AMOUNT OF MONEY FOR A SMALL SELECTION OF SEMI-STYLISH CLOTHING
68 percent of women in America are considered plus size. However, 16 percent of retailers actually sell plus size clothing.
As someone who is plus size, I can tell you that I have very limited options for shopping for cute clothes, and most of those options are crazy expensive. I'm talking about stores like Lane Bryant and Torrid. Love their stuff, but it's really expensive.
You would think with the number of people who get upset at plus size women wearing clothes that are "too small for them," more would be done to provide better options. If you want us to wear clothes designed for our bodies, help up campaign for affordable clothing for our bodies. I personally feel that anyone should be able to wear whatever they want so long as their cash and prizes aren't hanging out (just for a bit of decency in public).
But this is a major issue.
4: STOP MOVING THE GOAL POST
In an effort to skinny-fy the world, retail brands are moving the mark constantly. They are actually changing the sizing on their clothing. You can find a number of videos of women going to different shops and buying the size they usually wear only to find that some don't fit, some are perfect, and some are too large.
Why isn't there a standard? We need to make this happen!
5: DON'T TROLL PLUS SIZE HASHTAGS TO SELL YOUR WEIGHT LOSS PRODUCTS OR SERVICES
If you're doing this, that's probably why you have to troll hashtags to find clients in the first place.
As a complete stranger, you don't know what I have done or am doing to lose weight. Some plus size people have actually been told by doctors that they need to get surgery because nothing else seems to be working for them. Many plus size people are confident with their bodies and don't want to come on to Instagram to that. I personally am for losing weight for health reasons, not for vanity. But your assumptions about my lifestyle will not result in a sale!
So, for today's post, I want to make the case for a plus-size Disney princess. With more and more children becoming body conscious at earlier ages, I think it is important to provide them with a realistic role model. I'll get in to that more later. So, here's the list:
DISCLAIMER: Being skinny is not a bad thing, and my intent is not to "skinny shame." I think we can all agree that extremes on both ends can be very dangerous and shouldn't be promoted. Please remember this as you're reading!
1: WE FINALLY HAVE REPRESENTED A LOT OF OTHER DEMOGRAPHICS IN DISNEY MOVIES
While it took way too long to have a good representation, we finally have princesses who are people of color on the big screen. We also have the “I don’t need no man princesses” which of course are speculated to be the LGBTQ+ princesses. Not saying that is right, but it is at least something. So why don’t we have a plus size princess?
The only plus size characters in Disney movies are fat villains or secondary characters that walk around in the back ground.
2: MANY PEOPLE AREN'T PLUS SIZE BY CHOICE
3: EVEN SO, YOU’RE NOT PROTECTING PEOPLE AGAINST DANGEROUS HABITS
Did you know if you go on to Instagram right now and search #skinny, you’ll be prompted with a message that asks you if you’re OK with looking at those sorts of things? But, if you look up #fat, you’re directed to the page with no problem.
I want to make sure everyone knows that I never search this hash tag, so Instagram isn't "tracking" that I'm looking at this hash tag. It's not like they are targeting repeated searchers of this hashtag. Everyone who searches this should receive this message.
Furthermore, this is what you're greeted with before you get to the featured page. If you try to look at the "most recent" posts, it blocks you completely!
It seems like expectations to meet a standard of skinny beauty is more harmful than promoting a girl with a lil meat (or fat) on her bones.
4: BIG WOMEN HAVE BECOME FETISHIZED
There are so many people in the world who don’t prefer skinny to plus size. I have another Instagram example. If you go and search #bbw or #bigbeautiful woman, you used to be met with half-naked photos of larger women.
Now I saw this message for the first time today, but usually the aforementioned posts are what are out there. I think Instagram decided to crack down on this out of fairness, which I agree with.
Now, while I believe that many of these women are super confident in their bodies, I also believe that many think that the only way they can get attention is to become someone’s fetish.
By not giving young girls the ideal plus sized woman to look up to in a Disney film, you’re perpetuating the notion that skinny is always prettier and better than fat.
5: SUPER-SKINNY PRINCESSES ARE NOT REALISTIC AND DO NOT MATCH THE BODY TYPES OF MOST PEOPLE
Of course I'm going to say that I never looked at Cinderella's waistline as a child and wondered why I couldn't be that thin, but I know that other children may have. Obviously, a lot of princesses were from a time when corsets were used to shape their bodies under dresses, so the figure makes some historical sense.
However, does a kid know that? I didn't wear a corset until prom. Event then, it was more like a long-lined bra.
Furthermore, the number of children growing up fat is increasing for different reasons. Almost always, this is attributed to laziness and poor eating habits. A lot of people are against a plus-sized princess because they believe she would "glamorize" obesity. I don't think so.
In college, I had joined some of my sorority sisters in trying to get in shape. One of my sisters had been going to the gym every day, eating healthy, etc. She was a plus-sized girl, but she ran laps around our skinniest sisters. That's because she was active. Bodies don't respond the same to weight loss efforts. You can be in terrible shape and be skinny, and in a pretty good shape while plus-sized. This isn't a weird portrayal.
THERE ARE OTHER REASONS
COMMENT: Do you think a plus-size Disney princess is a good or bad idea? Tell me why!
However, the students who are a part of the college admission scandal seems to align well with the buzz words and phrases often applied to a whole group of people.
If you’re in the U.S., you’ve probably heard news lately of the University of Southern California’s high-profile college admissions scandal. If you haven’t, here’s some information:
Fifty people have been charged in federal court for conspiracy to illicitly gain admission for high school students to top colleges and universities, including the University of Southern California. Some notable names tied up in this conspiracy include Lori Loughlin (left), who played Becky on Full House, and Felicity Huffman from Desperate Housewives.
Each of the 50 conspirators paid as much as $6.5 million to get their children into prestigious schools. This money may have been used to purchase a building on campus, donate to university advancement causes, or to bribe professors or administrators.
AN ONGOING PROBLEM
My immediate opinion is that, duh, this has been happening for years. I mean, just look at Hollywood. They’ve made a number of movies where the snobby rich kid’s parents donate to the college, and that makes them near untouchable. Did everyone think that was just a made-up movie antagonist? No, that happens in real life in colleges, universities, and prep schools around the globe.
THIS IS WHY IT ISN'T OK
One thing that really frustrated me was that some of these parents even bribed testing officials to look the other way while their child cheated on the SATs. That isn’t fair to someone from the projects who doesn’t have money but busted their butt in class and in the library to ace the test in hopes of attending Harvard.
This means that they are likely considered for and offered better jobs. Imagine Loughlin’s daughter becoming some CEO of a large company. She did absolutely nothing to get there, but she is now making decisions on things that could change the course of not only a company, but of the U.S. Many companies are tied up in politics, which is also largely influenced by campaign dollars.
WAYS THE RICH HAVE CHEATED THE SYSTEM
WHY IT FRUSTRATES MILLENNIALS
I will say that what adds to millennial frustration is the fact that these people who are our peers become CEOs, sometimes even becoming our bosses. For those of us who went to college, studied in a field that will actually make us money, and joined a career, it is frustrating to have a complete idiot as a boss. They don’t know what they’re doing, and it shows. This frustrates our generation to no end because we can’t move forward in our careers. I’m glad I don’t have this issue personally, but I know that a number of people suffer because of it.
But, it is crucial that you readers understand that these were top schools. They aren’t really wanting for money, they’re just being greedy.
In my opinion, we should do a sweep of all of the top schools and investigate for fraud. Charges should also be put against others who are found guilty of doing this. Students accused of fraud should be put on academic leave. If it were up to me, schools who accepted these funds should have to pay a penalty, as they were in the wrong as well.
The U.S. is sad. No promotions. No raises. No praises for a job well done. I think attacking this issue head on will help improve mental health and job security around the country. What’s your opinion? I want to know!
I am kind of perplexed by this issue, because I see the benefits and the downfalls of it. Let me talk about the pros and cons today. I’d love to hear your opinion on this in the comments below!
I know that this statement might get me in some hot water with some readers, but I am a fan of modesty. Now, I have no issues with shoulders the collar bone being exposed, I just have never been a fan of seeing someone’s butt cheeks or a ton of their chest. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a large-chested woman. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I expose my cleavage, but I think there is a limit.
I believe that, if you’re going to enforce something on students, it should be expected that those same rules apply to faculty, staff, and visitors. If your school says that students can’t have on clothing that depicts violence, guns, or drug paraphernalia, you should not allow visitors, faculty, or staff to wear them either.
By enforcing these rules on adults, you are showing a pattern of consistency with discipline and the student. A student might see their parent dress or act a certain way at school and think that, since their mom or dad was not reprimanded, they can also get away with it.
On the other hand, I think that today’s dress code standards are a bit much in many states. Parkinson also mentioned that tattoos should be covered, but I don’t really think that’s fair. I mean, Tennessee gets hot. I would be pretty angry if someone said I couldn’t visit my student because I refused to wear a long-sleeve jacket in the dead of summer.
There is also the matter that adults are adults. While many adults still need correction, most of them have been through the school system and have decided to make their own choices. There is also the problem with shielding children from what they would see in the real world.
MY OVERALL VERDICT
What do you think? I’m interested in hearing your opinion!
She asked myself and other bloggers and influencers a series of questions based around the financial myths that millennials must work to expose. I wanted to share all of my answers to the myths and, of course, link back to her post.
MYTH 1: ARE MILLENNIALS NOT BUYING HOMES BECAUSE THEY WANT TO SCRIMP OFF THEIR PARENTS?
Because this was the question I answered, I'd be remiss not to link back to Shelly's article. Please click the image to the left to be redirected to the article.
To add more on this, the notion that living off of our parents is the reason many still live at home is crazy. Everyone wants independence, and alleging that we don't simply to have mommy and daddy pay for it is crazy to me!
<-- Click to read!
MYTH 2: MILLENNIALS ARE LAZY, TIRED, AND UNAMBITIOUS
Technology puts the answers to our questions at the tip of our fingertips, which can be good. Our access to technology has changed our behavior, of course. It has made life much easier.
Because of our technology use, we do redefine productivity. I'll give an example. I recently decided to purchase an Amazon Echo Dot and some smart plugs. I can get ready in the morning while telling Alexa to make my coffee. As soon as I'm ready, I just have to pour myself a cup and head to work. I still have to do some work by pre-loading the coffee grinds and water, but it makes my morning much faster!
MYTH 3: MILLENNIALS ARE KILLING THE ECONOMY
No, quite the opposite. The economy is killing millennials, for sure. Prices continue to rise and employers don't just fancy a college degree anymore. We have a record number of graduates in the world today because we were told that degrees get you jobs. However, we are made to put ourselves into massive amounts of debt only to come out and work for companies that are also struggling in the economy and aren't able to reward good work with raises or better benefits.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.
Plus Size Children
That's My Opinion