"TURN THE OTHER CHEEK" DOESN'T MEAN "BECOME THE PUNCHING BAG:" HOW TO RESPOND TO HATE

"But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on they right cheek, turn to him the other also." - Matthew 5:39

​We all have moments in our lives when someone does something mean to us to hurt us. Most of the time, these people just want a reaction from you. I remember hearing this verse often when growing up. 

Just by logic, most would interpret this to say that you should let someone continue to abuse you either physically, spiritually, or emotionally. In fact, the lack of "retaliation" when someone wrongs you might be why some people don't want to learn more about Jesus. So, I wanted to clear some things up for today's #WorshipWednesday post!

LOOKING AT CONTEXT

​During this verse, Jesus is teaching a number of moral lessons to a multitude of people. What is vastly important is to recognize the verse that comes just prior to the one I quoted at the beginning. Remember that it is important to read the verses around the verse you've picked out. People tend to cherry-pick the Bible, use verses out of context, and use those verses to control others and their opinions on certain views.

"Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:" Matthew 5:38

It seems clear that the culture to which Jesus was teaching had strict laws on the treatment of others. ​

​If someone wronged you in some way, you were generally entitled to getting that thing back from them. You might even get to walk away with more. You've likely seen the scene in Aladdin where Princess Jasmine grabs and apple and gives it to a child. The shop keeper sees this and wants to cut off her hand because she used it to steal something from him.

Same concept back then!  Here is a verse from Deuteronomy (Old Testament):

"Then shall ye do unto him, as he had thought to have done unto his brother: so shalt thou put the evil away from among you. And those which remain shall hear, and fear, and shall henceforth commit no more any such evil among you. And thine eye shall not pity; but life shall go for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot." Deuteronomy 19:19-21

​WHAT JESUS MEANS IN THE TEXT

Now that the context is cleared up, let's talk about the message here. Jesus is not saying that you should let someone abuse you. Rather, he is trying to make a point about grace under fire. 

​Basically, Jesus believes you shouldn't hit back, but rather "kill them with kindness."

​It further evident that this is the case when you read Bible verses like those in Ephesians 6:10-11, where the Bible says to " be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil."

Strength is mentioned numerous times in the Bible. Most of the time, it is in reference to the strength of the Lord. The Bible emphasizes that we're all human. When someone hits at us, our natural reaction is to hit back. It takes the strength of something supernatural to help up to control ourselves with grace and dignity when under fire. 

But, perhaps most importantly, I learned from these Bible study that God doesn't always want us to sit back and continue to let people walk all over us. ​​Our response of kindness makes a statement. Our honest words said in a dignified and classy way will leave an impact. But none of us are perfect!

I notice that, when I'm dealing with something and decide that I'm going to respond, I usually have to write out my natural feelings, backspace, and write something with a little more grace and dignity. It is by no means 100 percent graceful or kind. I'm sure I leave a few jabs in my response. However, I try my hardest and I'm learning more and more every day.

​TIPS FOR RESPONDING WITH THE LORD'S STRENGTH

• Pray about it. You can take a bit of time to think about it. I did this after I received a short, rather emotionless condolence from my father after my grandpa died. I decided to pray and think on it for a few days, and decided the best thing to do was walk away from the situation. I didn't respond as best as I should. I took time to point out my father's flaws and where he went wrong in supporting me and my brother. However, I didn't make a gigantic fool of myself.
• Try journaling your "human" thoughts about your situation, or find a trusted friend to vent to. I get a lot of advice from my mom, husband, and the four close friends who I sometimes vent to.
• Take some time. Don't respond right away. The quicker you respond, the less graceful and kind your response will be.
• Know when to respond and when to ignore. In life, there are some people who will get it when you respond to them. However, there are others who are oblivious to their own behavior and don't recognize that they are being rude or mean. Know when to avoid the abusers and when to stand up for yourself and others.
• Don't be a doormat. Jesus is often referred to as a door, but he never refers to his creation as a doormat. If you don't think the person will respond to your kindness, it is OK to simply walk away. It's OK to decide not to hang out with them anymore. It is OK to decide that they are toxic. Jesus thinks so much of us, even though our actions say otherwise. If he doesn't think that way of you, don't think that way of yourself.