DO MORE FOR WOMEN – USE YOUR VOICE TO MAKE A POSITIVE CHANGE

Have you ever noticed when you truly open your eyes to a problem, you start to see the impacts of the problem all around you? At the start of this month, I decided to really open my eyes to how women like myself are treated in the workplace, at home, and in the organizations we volunteer our time to.

What I've noticed is shocking to say the least. In a world that has been so impacted by women, there is still so little respect for us in many facets of life.

On International Women's Day on March 8, I saw a lot of people posting on Instagram using the #ChooseToChallenge. This was/is a pledge you make to challenge the sexism you see each and every day. But many just saw it as an opportunity to post on social media, rather than an actual pledge to make change.

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"As with any cause, posting a photo on Instagram and using feminist hashtags isn't enough. To make real systemic change, we must challenge sexism and really any 'ism' when we see it displayed before our very eyes."

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I feel inclined to share some of my personal experience because, for some reason, we've been put under some sort of impression that the way we are treated by others, especially men, in our organizations is normal. It's not. Here's a list of what I've experienced as a female living life on a day to day basis:

• Unwanted relational advances (in-person and online) from men. 
• Pressure from men to do things I was uncomfortable with doing.
• Fat shamed, mostly by men.
• Alternatively, fetishized by certain men for my size.

• Having work I've done for years explained to me as if I was new to that line of work.
• Been targeted by someone in power over me for my outfit, which wasn't out of dress code.
• Been asked to identify the color of my underwear in a former professional setting.
• Been interrupted while speaking (which I don't really allow anymore. I'm trying to reign this back in so I'm not the one interrupting others).
• Had a former male boss make comments in front of my coworkers about my makeup.
• Been yelled at by a person in power over me in front of coworkers who had not received the same treatment.
• Been told I wasn't working hard enough, although I had been one of the most productive members of a team.
• Been degraded by male clients to the point of tears.
• Have seen my husband degraded in a former church of ours for not "making me" be in church on Wednesday nights.

I'm so thankful to be married to a man who has never tried – and I'm confident never will – to stifle my voice as a professional working woman. I'm grateful that the men in my life support women and value their opinions. However many women are not as lucky as I am.

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Many women have lists much longer than mine. Lists that also include sexual assault, abuse from their partners, and workplace microaggressions that can make the workplace a nightmare. These would be less of an issue if male allys would speak up and stop turning a blind eye to what's happening to women in their homes, their workplaces and in the organizations they volunteer to serve in.

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WAYS YOU CAN MAKE A POSITIVE CHANGE

There are plenty of ways you can make an impact, especially if you are a male ally for women. Here are a few ideas:

• Call it out when you see a female coworker or volunteer being interrupted during meetings. Also, be conscious of letting her speak and complete her thought. 
• Report sexism in the workplace or in your organization.
• If you see a woman being harassed, do what you can to safely help.
• Do not restate a female's ideas and claim them as your own. Call out those who do.
• Do not laugh or participate is sexist or racist jokes. Discourage your male counterparts from doing this.
• Give credit where it is due. If you see a female coworker/volunteer working hard, make sure to credit her.
• Don't dismiss or allow others to dismiss a female coworker's feelings on how something was handled. Don't call her "too sensitive." 
• Try to see things from a woman's perspective.