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9/9/2019 THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL MATURITY, AND EACH TAKE MEN FAR TOO LONG TO REACHRead NowIt’s pretty much an accepted fact that men mature at a slower rate than women. However, I think most people would agree that studies on this indicate social maturity is what psychologists are talking about in these studies. But today, I want to talk about emotional maturity. Women get such a bad reputation for silent treatments and arguments when a lot of the time, it boils down to emotional maturity, usually on the side of the man. Before I get too far into this, I want to make it clear that I don’t believe every man is emotionally immature. There are several amazing guys who were taught or learned emotional maturity. I know a lot of them. But I know and have experienced far more men with a lack of emotional maturity. I will be saying “men” as a general term in this post. Just know that I am aware that not all men are this way, but a lot are. This post is for them and for women who feel the same. THERE IS A REASON WOMEN ACT THE WAY WE DO
Why do we do this? Because we don’t understand how you don’t see what’s wrong. Men are not emotionally mature enough, for whatever reason, to read body language and cues from their female pattern, but they can tell when a friend is getting frustrated or another guy is about to swing on them. How does that make sense? If a man says something is a rude tone and the woman gets quiet, doesn’t answer, or turns her attention away, how can a man sit there and ask “what’s wrong?” Before I was married, I dated a guy who lived across the state line. He was obsessed with video games. I would drive hours to see him only to sit beside him while he played games. He would often ask “what’s wrong,” and I would tell him “I drive forever to see you just to sit here and watch you play games.” Why did I need to tell him that? He should get that. Now, are there girls who will get mad for dumb reasons? Sure. Sometimes we see lack of concern for big things, so we get heated over the little things in hopes of stressing the importance of handling issues as they arise. WHERE DOES EMOTIONAL IMMATURITY COME FROM?
It goes even further. Dads treat their sons much differently than their daughters. Dads view their daughters as princesses (most of the time) and will stop the world if they are hurt. But when boys are hurt, they are told the “toughen up.” This just perpetuates the expectation of the macho man. Men are also expected to be emotionally tough. Men often don’t smile in pictures because it “makes them seem weak.” They don’t want to talk about their feelings. To all of these men, let me tell you something: your partners aren’t happy. Unless they are like you, they aren’t happy.
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As a semi-influencer (a name I've given to myself since I don't have a huge following but have been blessed enough to work with some brands), I've had the opportunity to receive free products in exchange for a review. While I always tell you my true feelings about the products or services I'm given, I'm not all that convinced that everyone does. Today, I want to share a few reasons why I think product/customer reviews aren't always reliable today. 1: MISINFORMATION FROM INFLUENCERS
I think a big reason why influencers do this, especially with a bigger brand, is because they don't want to have any bad blood, especially in the beauty industry. Then you have people like Jeffree Star who gives reviews on big makeup brands and shares his opinion, regardless of how it will reflect on the brand. Sadly, though, there aren't many reviewers like Jeffree who will slam Kylie Cosmetics to millions of followers (see below). 2: PEOPLE TRYING TO MAKE IT AS AN INFLUENCER
In today's world, everyone wants the dream job of being a YouTuber or blogger. Getting to do what you love (creating content) and getting paid for it is the dream. However, this can cloud some people's judgement and cause them to leave positive reviews in hopes of working with the brand later. I want to stress that I wouldn't do this. If I try a product and it is awful, I will tell you! I wouldn't want to pay any money, let along $40-$60 for a product that didn't have good results. But, I do know some influencers who simply want to make good press for brands so they have a future with them! Brands don't want fake reviews, yet influencers do it. Go figure. 3: YOU CAN PAY PEOPLE TO REVIEW YOUR PRODUCT
My response is always "I don't feel comfortable writing a review about a product I haven't tried for myself." Luckily, freelance isn't my only job. But for someone who makes their living off of writing, they might not pass up the chance to make good money writing fake reviews. And obviously, since the reviewer hasn't tried the product, there is no legitimacy in their review. CONCLUSION AND QUESTION OF THE DAYThese are only a few of the reasons why the customer review is losing its power. I think more can be done if websites will add "verified purchaser" or indicate if someone was gifted a product to review. However, a lot of people won't stop to look at that. They want a quick answer and five positive reviews might be the answer they can get the easiest.
For the question of the day: how important are customer reviews to you? Given the information in this post, will you pay more attention to them next time you shop online? 8/26/2019 4 REASONS SEXISM AGAINST WOMEN EXISTS AND HOW YOU CAN CHANGE IT ON NATIONAL WOMEN'S EQUALITY DAYRead NowMen and women aren't treated equally in pretty much every country in the world. In fact, in some countries, women are treated as second-class citizens who aren't even allowed to get an education. Today is National Women's Equality Day. I regard myself as a feminist. I am someone who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes. I think everyone should hold this belief. Please go into this post with an open mind. I do bring up some points I've heard from very conservative speakers and give my thoughts on them. 1: WOMEN ARE EXPECTED TO DO EVERYTHING I find myself incredibly lucky, partially because I chose to be with someone who doesn't push the narrative that a woman needs to be the one who not only bears a child and raises it, but takes care of the house and likely has a full-time job as well. A lot of women do much of this work by themselves. That's not to say that a father doesn't change his child's diaper every now and then.
It's been perpetuated in TV, movies, and in real life. The man comes home, grabs a beer, and flips on the sports channel while the mother is rocking the baby, praying that the touchdown celebration doesn't wake him/her. Don't get me wrong. If I had a life where I was capable of being a stay-at-home mom, I'd do these things without protest, although I would want some time to myself after taking care of the house and children all day. But some don't share that desire and very few can afford to live a single-income lifestyle. 2: WOMEN DO GET PAID LESS THAN MEN
Personally, I would rather spend time with my kids than working my way up the ranks of a company, but that isn't entirely true for everyone, and it isn't feasible for most families in this day and age. Women are constantly told that, because we bear a child, it is our responsibility to raise it and nurture it. We are pressured by society, some by our partners, and by our emotions. It takes two to make a baby, so two people should be raising the baby. I do see why pro-choice advocates are so upset by this. Men don't want a say in how a baby is raised until it comes to the choice of abortion. Then they say "it is half my child, so I should get a say." If there were that much concern by men in the first place, there may be fewer abortions. Anyway, I have the same human urge to move up the ranks in my job as any man. Maybe more of an urge. But, if my husband made more than me and someone needed to stay home to be with the baby, I would be expected by society to leave my job for a few years without question to take care of the child. 3: WOMEN ARE POWERFUL BUT ARE CONSIDERED WEAKER
But because of the whole muscle mass thing, women are always viewed as weaker. We get terms like "you throw like a girl" or "you fight like a girl" hurled at boys and men in our life and it is an insult. These things are taught at a young age and no one thinks anything of it. It just adds to the sexism that already exists in our nation. 4: WOMEN ARE CONSTANTLY SEXUALIZED
I like to use hashtags like #prettyandplussize or #bigbeautifulwomen on my photos in hopes of inspiring other plus-size women to build their confidence. However, I usually end up getting an inappropriate DM or comment. Another thing I remember is being followed around in Walmart by a guy who asked if I "wanted to come over to his place." And before you ask, no, I wasn't wearing anything low-cut or "sexy." I was wearing a t-shirt, basketball shorts, no makeup, and a messy bun.
HOW YOU CAN BREAK THE SYSTEM
I wanted to share something that happened to me a week or so ago and try to give you a sort of snapshot of what fat people wonder when they are fat shamed by complete strangers.
This is a topic I'm really passionate about and this is the understanding I have both personally and from the plus-size community that I've been a part of. I'm not meaning to "speak" for others who have had a different experience, but I think most can agree that this is what happens in our heads.
​So, I decided that I wanted to make this explanation post to get out into the open some things we fat people want others to understand:
1: WE DON’T BELIEVE YOU “CARE ABOUT OUR HEALTHâ€
2: WE FIND SOME OF YOU VERY HYPOCRITICAL
3: WE AREN’T ASKING YOU TO LIKE US
4: WE DESERVE EQUAL PRAISE FOR EQUAL
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I cannot tell you how many times in my life that I’ve accomplished something amazing and shared it with friends, only to have someone share a different (equally as amazing) accomplishment and give praise to someone who is substantially smaller than me.
I work super hard to do the things that I do. I also strive to be supportive to all of my fellow creators. |
I would never want someone to take praise away from anyone for an accomplishment. All fat people want is to be validated as much as skinny people are validated.
And don’t give me that “you should validate yourself†nonsense. Have you ever asked a friend if your makeup looks good? How about asking your partner if your outfit makes you look “fat?â€
As if you don’t own a mirror.
Everyone, and I do mean everyone, is in some way concerned with how they are perceived. If you don’t think so, then you’re either very enlightened (kudos) or you’re lying to yourself.
And don’t give me that “you should validate yourself†nonsense. Have you ever asked a friend if your makeup looks good? How about asking your partner if your outfit makes you look “fat?â€
As if you don’t own a mirror.
Everyone, and I do mean everyone, is in some way concerned with how they are perceived. If you don’t think so, then you’re either very enlightened (kudos) or you’re lying to yourself.
5: WE DON’T GET WHY YOU CARE SO MUCH
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Caveating off of the first point, why do you care? You have no personal stake in my life, so why do you care what my size is?
Unless you’re sitting next to me on a plane or in a crowded bus, my fat is none of your concern. Half the time, airlines make fat people buy TWO SEATS to make other passengers feel comfortable. |
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Recognize that privilege, especially when so many fat people didn’t MAKE themselves that way. Imagine having to pay double for a flight because you’re bigger. How is this still OK?
I do want to say that, in situations where fat people are in a packed area, most of us try to be courteous as best as we can. I have requested to move seats on an airplane when it was open, chosen to stand rather than sit on a crowded bus or subway, etc. Most people don’t want someone else in their personal space, anyway.
I do want to say that, in situations where fat people are in a packed area, most of us try to be courteous as best as we can. I have requested to move seats on an airplane when it was open, chosen to stand rather than sit on a crowded bus or subway, etc. Most people don’t want someone else in their personal space, anyway.
6: WE AREN’T PROMOTING OBESITY BY LIVING LIFE IN
OUR OWN BODY
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It took a lot for me to choose this picture for this point. We've all probably had a taco. But this picture of me pointing to a taco sign means I'm "promoting obesity" to some.
In this photo and the caption, I don't encourage people to eat tacos until they gain weight. I am very honest about my love for tacos. I am very open about being a foodie. ​But I have never in my life seen or witnessed or taken part in promoting unhealthy living. I’ve never seen a plus-size person tell one of their followers that they should eat unhealthy things excessively and avoid exercise. What I have seen are people doing the opposite. They tell women they are too fat and should avoid eating, throw up their food, and get weight loss surgery to “fix†themselves. Everyone deserves to feel beautiful and validated. We deserve cute clothes, happiness, and opportunities. Living our best lives in the body we have in its current state is the whole premise of the body positivity movement. |
7: WE ARE CONCERNED ABOUT OUR HEALTH, JUST LIKE
EVERYONE ELSE
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My health is really important to me. I go in for regular check-ups, get blood work done, and make changes to meet the goals set by my doctor. Like everyone else does!
We all just don’t feel the need to tell people that. It is none of anyone’s business. Sure, there are some who don’t do any of this stuff, but most of us are trying to be healthy for our health, not for “cuter†pictures on Instagram. |
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I was on Twitter the other day and I saw that #VideoGamesAreToBlame was a trending topic. After reading some of the tweets, it seems that this was a statement that was made by the president after the recent shootings in El Paso, Texas and Dayton, Ohio.
Some people may jump into the comments alleging that he never really said that. But, this notion that video games are to blame for people's horrendous actions has been a topic of discussion for decades. I wanted to come on here today to talk about the real issue: racism and a lack of care for mental health.
Some people may jump into the comments alleging that he never really said that. But, this notion that video games are to blame for people's horrendous actions has been a topic of discussion for decades. I wanted to come on here today to talk about the real issue: racism and a lack of care for mental health.
THE HISTORY OF CORRELATION BETWEEN VIDEO GAMES AND MASS SHOOTINGS
| Video games have historically been linked to violence because of the Columbine shooting. During follow-up reporting, it was discovered that the two shooters liked to play games like "Doom" and "Grand Theft Auto." Ever since, video games and video game addiction has been linked to school shootings in particular, but has now been associated with the most recent mass shootings previously mentioned. |  |
While there has been research that suggests that video games can desensitize people of a certain age, I don't believe that there is concrete evidence that video games can induce thoughts of violence among healthy, functioning people of an appropriate age.
So, if it isn't video games, what is it?
So, if it isn't video games, what is it?
LET'S TALK ABOUT RACISM FIRST
 | Racism is a topic of discussion that is close to my heart. Mainly because I wouldn't have been able to marry my husband several decades ago because of this notion. It is also close to my heart because so many people try to use religious text out of context to justify segregation and racism, which hurts my soul so much. |
I want to bring up racism because, at least in recent years, it has motivated a lot of terrible people to commit terrible acts. The Charleston Church shootings played a role in inciting similar acts in the name of white supremacy.
The El Paso shooter, who I refuse to name, is a 21-year-old who wrote a racist and anti-immigrant document, according to CNN. The manifesto, titled "The Inconvenient Truth," was put online only 20 minutes before the shooting happened and discussed "race mixing."
The El Paso shooter, who I refuse to name, is a 21-year-old who wrote a racist and anti-immigrant document, according to CNN. The manifesto, titled "The Inconvenient Truth," was put online only 20 minutes before the shooting happened and discussed "race mixing."
| I was so shocked to read this. After all, if I ever had a child, I would be a "race mixer." Not only am I shocked at how demented the mind of a killer can be, I'm also shocked that someone cares so much about individual choice and preference. At the end of the day, you can choose to be with whoever you want. Why do you care so much about another person's choice? |  |
Regardless of your thoughts on our current president, he has made some pretty strange remarks about people from different, non-white countries. It doesn't matter what he meant to say, what matters is what he said and how it was perceived.
NOW LETS TALK ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH IN AMERICA
 | I could write a book on everything wrong with mental health in America. There are so many factors to it. To begin, there is just an overall negative stigma to mental health disorders and getting help for mental health disorders, especially in certain communities. Our men are told to "just be strong" and to "put their feelings aside." |
No wonder men have a higher suicide rate than women. They are constantly told to shut themselves off to emotion and pain. As a part of my job, I have to take photos of my coworkers. Some of the men refuse to smile. I got curious one day, so I Googled, "why don't some men smile in pictures?" The answer I found from another man was:
"I think it is largely due to the idea of them portraying a sense of masculinity...Everyone is smiling, except Mr. Macho Man who believes smiling is a form of weakness and would rather choose from his arsenal of looks..." -Lucas Pool on Quora
| And then there's bullying. The misconception is that bullying is a child's sport and that it stops in adulthood. But, nothing is further from the truth. According to Counseling.org, 99 percent of school shootings are carried out by males (which I mentioned because of the aforementioned "macho man" thing). |  |
Seventy-one percent of the attackers had been victims of bullying. Let's move further. Eighty-seven percent of the attackers left behind evidence that they were victims of severe bullying. Most school shooters also go after those who bullied them, but don't have an issue killing anyone who gets in their way.
 | As a segway, only about 17 percent of these shooters had been diagnosed with a mental health disorder, but nearly 78 percent had a history of suicidal thoughts or attempts. This strongly suggests that they may have been struggling with depression or another mental health disorder. As far as mass shooters in general, the LA Times ran an awesome article that highlights some of the traits that almost every mass shooter has in common. The first is that most are exposed to childhood trauma. This could leave them with untreated PTSD or another mental health disorder. Second, they had all reached a crisis point. Third, they sought validation for their motives. And fourth, they had the means to carry out their plans. |
According to this same article, about 80 percent of school shooters got their guns from home. Workplace shooters already have their guns at home for the most part.
WHAT WE SHOULD REALLY BE TALKING ABOUT
- Equality,
- The value of human life, regardless of race,
- Racist sentiments bred into society and even in our classrooms,
- Politicians who have made terrible racist statements, regardless of what they "meant" by them,
- Bullying - how different it is now vs. even 10 years ago,
- Punishment for bullies, regardless of whether or not they're a star athlete or their parents have money,
- Adding licensed counselors to our schools,
- Recognizing bullying and/or signs and symptoms of a mental health disorder,
- Normalizing the talk about mental health,
- Encouraging men and at-risk communities to seek counseling or just to be more open about their feelings and their emotional status (trust me, y'all will still be macho),
- Stop "celebrating anti-bullying week" with orange t-shirts and start getting real about the reality of bullying,
- Give everyone paid vacation and not guilt them into not using their vacation,
- Access to affordable mental health care,
- Mental health care within our schools,
- ...and so many other things.
Recently, it was revealed that 13 Reasons Why, a Netflix original series that discusses the life and death of Hannah. A lot of people don't want to show to continue due to its strong themes of suicide, sexual assault, and bullying. Today, I want to tell you 13 reasons why I do and don't want a new season of 13 Reasons Why.
I mean no disrespect to anyone of either opinion. I simply want to give my reasons for wanting and not wanting another season.
"Dos" will be in green, "Don'ts" will be in red.
I mean no disrespect to anyone of either opinion. I simply want to give my reasons for wanting and not wanting another season.
"Dos" will be in green, "Don'ts" will be in red.
1: THE BOOK ISN'T A PROBLEM WITH MANY PEOPLE
 | As a mini book review of sorts, I loved this book. I read it when I was in high school as a part of the library intern program. While I haven't read it in a while, the general idea of the book is the same: Hannah commits suicide and sends around a bunch of tapes to the people who she feels had a hand in her decision to end her life. The book is chilling, but definitely a good read from my memory. There have been a ton of books that have been banned from schools, but I don't remember this one ever being in the news for being banned. By the way, this was published in 2007! The story isn't new, just the Netflix adaptation. |
2: HAS TRIGGERED SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
| The Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry published a study that indicated that suicide rates among teens and adolescents had risen from the stats they had in 2013 before the show first aired. This is very troubling, as it seems a few people have taken their lives after watching the show. |  |
3: BUT IT SHEDS LIGHT ON A SAD REALITY
 | As someone who was mercilessly bullied in middle school, I can tell you that it isn't a walk in the park to have your peers pointing a finger at you. It is even worse now since technology has become readily available, with some students being bullied using school technology! Bullying needs to stop, and I believe that this series does shed light on how serious bullying can get for victims. |
4: THE STORY PASSES BLAME FOR SOMEONE'S DECISION
| Don't get mad! I cover the other side of this in the next point. One thing I didn't like about the book or the series is the idea that someone would blame someone else for their choice to end their life. I personally believe that suicide is a choice that someone makes. No one is forced to kill themselves, and I think it is wrong to teach that it is OK to blame someone for an individual's decision to end their life. Especially in this case when it seems Hannah could have confided in trusted people for help. |  |
5: HOWEVER, IT IS IMPORTANT THAT PEOPLE KNOW THAT DECISIONS ARE SOMETIMES MADE BASED OFF OF THE ACTIONS OF OTHERS
 | At the end of the day, the story tells us that Hannah chose to end her life because of how some people treated her and the nasty things they did to her. While it was her decision to use suicide as a means of an out (which I don't think is OK, don't get me wrong) instead of seeking out help from a trusted adult. |
If someone is telling you to kill yourself, I don't think that the bully should be held completely unaccountable for their actions. A lot of people have limits to their mental health, especially those who are going undiagnosed and untreated for a mental illness.
6: THE ACTORS ARE REALLY GOOD
| It is undeniable that the cast of "13 Reasons Why" is incredibly talented, and they're all so young! I feel that their acting really sells what is going on and the severity of the situation. Perhaps if they weren't as good at acting, people wouldn't find the show so believable and so triggering. They all really take over their characters in an almost scary way, which is good for acting. |  |
7: THE SHOW IS WELL-PRODUCED
 | Along with the acting, the show is also very well produced. As someone who isn't necessarily triggered into a depressive episode and more of a lover of film principles like color-blocking and scene-setting, the film crew and producers do a wonderful job. The ambiance for each scene is set so well. |
8: IT IS REALLY HARD TO WATCH SOME SCENES
| Again, I think the acting largely aids in this. The portrayal of reactions are so believable, and the scenes are so put together, that it is hard to stomach watching some scenes. I found myself fast forwarding through some parts and even just closing my eyes. |  |
9: THE STORYLINE LEAVES YOU WANTING MORE ANSWERS
 | At the end of each season, something always happened that left me with more questions, and I couldn't wait for the new season so I could get answers to those questions. This is a classic TV show stunt to keep people wanting more, and it really works with this show because of the high-quality actors and crew. |
10: UNDERAGE PEOPLE AND PEOPLE WITH MENTAL HEALTH DISORDER CAN ACCESS THESE STORIES AND MAY NOT UNDERSTAND HOW TO PROCESS IT
| Young children are still developing and may have their first encounter with suicide or even sexual assault by watching this show. Also, as someone with a mental health disorder, I think it is safe to say that processing things that can trigger us can be difficult and can leave us in more of a depressive or anxious state. |  |
If you've never heard of the show, or your friends suggest it to you and you decide to check it out, you might find yourself being drawn in by its sinister nature. You might even think that Hannah will turn things around or that the whole thing will get better.
11. NETFLIX HAS PARENTAL CONTROLS
 | One good piece of news is that parents with underage children and even those with mental health disorders that might be triggered by this show can go in and block it if they are aware of it. This will prevent a child or a person from watching a show that could be potentially harmful to their mental health or to their innocence, for lack of a better word. |
12: CHILDREN CAN WATCH WITH FRIENDS OR ADULTS WITH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS COULD HAPPEN UPON THE SERIES AND GET TRIGGERED
| We have come to find that, even if parents block something in their house or on their children's devices, they can still access it in some way. That could be watching it with a friend, figuring out the parental controls code, and more. As previously mentioned, older people with a mental health disorder might not know what the show is and may click on it and be triggered by some of the scenes and imagery. |  |
13: I WANT TO SEE THE CHARACTERS DEVELOP
 | Because I love the show and the actors, I do want to see the characters develop. This has gone beyond the scope of the book, and creative writers have taken the show to new heights (or depths, if you don't like it). I want to see how they grow up, what they learn, and how they better themselves as people. |
Again, I mean no disrespect to anyone of either opinion when it comes to this post. I always believe that people are more important than a show and that their health and safety should come first. I hope that there is a way the two can co-exist.
Whenever we millennials were young, we were always told to be humble. We were fed this idea that owning our success made us egotistical and full of ourselves. While I believe this can become true if we don't stay humble, I believe it is this life lesson that makes many in my generation feel like they aren't successful in life.
Let's talk about the four reasons we need to change our perceptions on owning our successes. I've added some photos highlighting some of my personal successes! I'm super blessed to have been given the gifts that I was given and growing up with a mom, brother, and grandparents who always encouraged and supported the cultivation of those gifts.
Let's talk about the four reasons we need to change our perceptions on owning our successes. I've added some photos highlighting some of my personal successes! I'm super blessed to have been given the gifts that I was given and growing up with a mom, brother, and grandparents who always encouraged and supported the cultivation of those gifts.
1. STRAIGHT UP, SUCCESS IS EARNED REGARDLESS OF
GENDER!
 First female Drum Major at my college | Success is defined as "the accomplishment of an aim or purpose." If you set a goal for yourself at your job to complete a task and you completed it, you were successful! Success by definition must be earned. It comes usually through hard work, passion, and determination. |
Success should be celebrated, regardless of someone's gender. I can't tell you how many times I see my male counterparts posting "#Excellence or #Success" but it seems like I'm looked down on when I use those hashtags in my photos.
There is a right and wrong way to celebrate your success. You can acknowledge your success without coming off in a conceited way. This could mean that you accept an award, reporting on your success, or you simply share your success while never forgetting those who helped you accomplish your successes. For me, that means acknowledging that I do all things through Christ. I'll talk more about this later.
Think of owning success as a type of currency. When you work a job, you expect to be paid for it. When you complete a job, you can take the pat on the back!
There is a right and wrong way to celebrate your success. You can acknowledge your success without coming off in a conceited way. This could mean that you accept an award, reporting on your success, or you simply share your success while never forgetting those who helped you accomplish your successes. For me, that means acknowledging that I do all things through Christ. I'll talk more about this later.
Think of owning success as a type of currency. When you work a job, you expect to be paid for it. When you complete a job, you can take the pat on the back!
2. IT IS SERIOUSLY DAMAGING OUR PSYCHE
| Recent studies show that the millennial generation is the most anxious generation yet. A big stereotype attached to the millennial generation is that we feel we should be rewarded for every little thing we do right. But, I have a counter to this opinion. I feel that millennials actually aren't rewarded for even the big things we do right. Back in the day, if you worked hard at your job and took on more responsibility, management saw your commitment to the job and rewarded you with raises and promotions. |  Member of the Millennial Commission for the City of Fayetteville, N.C. |
That simply doesn't happen for millennials.
Forbes Magazine even dedicated an entire article to the topic "Why Are Millennial Salaries Disproportionately Low?" They found that millennials have a large unemployment rate, not necessarily because of laziness, but because of the demand for experience in the work force.
Millennials are also saddled with an average of $37K in student loan debt after being told by the generation before us that college was needed for a better salary and benefits.
Forbes Magazine even dedicated an entire article to the topic "Why Are Millennial Salaries Disproportionately Low?" They found that millennials have a large unemployment rate, not necessarily because of laziness, but because of the demand for experience in the work force.
Millennials are also saddled with an average of $37K in student loan debt after being told by the generation before us that college was needed for a better salary and benefits.
I mean, just listen to this BOP from 2009! This is an ad for Education Connection which features an hourly employee who said she "needs a degree to make a bigger salary." However, this isn't proving true for millennials.
As a matter of example, I was making $11 and hour as a journalist with my degree right out of college. My husband has no college degree and makes about the same amount working in landscaping right now. I know this isn't everyone's story.
All of this was to simply say that we've taken losses in a lot of areas our parents didn't necessarily have to. We are anxious because of money and a lack of feeling successful, but we simply don't celebrate the successes we do have because we were told by society to be humble when we were younger!
With so much already stressing out our generation, we should lift ourselves up when we accomplish something great!
As a matter of example, I was making $11 and hour as a journalist with my degree right out of college. My husband has no college degree and makes about the same amount working in landscaping right now. I know this isn't everyone's story.
All of this was to simply say that we've taken losses in a lot of areas our parents didn't necessarily have to. We are anxious because of money and a lack of feeling successful, but we simply don't celebrate the successes we do have because we were told by society to be humble when we were younger!
With so much already stressing out our generation, we should lift ourselves up when we accomplish something great!
3. WE SHOULDN'T LET OTHERS CONTROL US
 2015 Intercollegiate Broadcasting System's Best On-Air Personalities Finalist for our college radio show Gabbie and the Ghost! | The perception of others really shouldn't control us, anyway. Like, who cares if a relative you see once a year doesn't "like" your Facebook post about being selected for a new leadership position at your job? Who cares if a toxic friend is upset that you posted about a recent success? At the end of the day, remember this saying that I think I just made up: "You ain't a remote, so stop letting people control you." Be proud of yourself and let those who truly care about you be proud of you, too! We all spend FAR too much time caring what other people think. At the end of the day, you have to live in your own body, and that means you need to be happy with yourself. |
I still believe that you should be humble, grateful, and thankful for the opportunities you've been afforded and the people who have been helpful along the way.
4. WE HAVE TO OWN OUR SUCCESS FIRST
| If you lack self-confidence, it can be hard to recognize what you've accomplished. I'm still struggling with this personally. I am a Christian and there's a lot of stigma about success in this faith. However, I credit all my successes in life to Jesus first, but recognize that I was given talents and gifts in this life to help connect other people to the Lord and to themselves! If you don't believe in yourself and the ability to accomplish great things, it simply won't happen. That's why it is so important that we recognize our own successes first. |  2014 Miss Methodist (College Pageant) Miss Congeniality |
Have you ever been in a situation where you've felt a bit bitter because maybe someone who you thought was less deserving than you earned an award or a title? I think we all have, because we are simply all human.
In these cases, you can't simply write off your success because someone else didn't recognize you for it. Set goals for yourself. Accomplish things for yourself. It makes being recognized for those successes that much more fulfilling!
In these cases, you can't simply write off your success because someone else didn't recognize you for it. Set goals for yourself. Accomplish things for yourself. It makes being recognized for those successes that much more fulfilling!
There is a lot that the plus size community keeps to itself. Today, I want to be honest with those who aren't in the plus size community about things that others do that we never admit truly bothers us. Check out the end of this video for a link to an old YouTube video I made called "Why It's Hard Being Big."
1. DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT OUR LIFESTYLES
| A lot of people assume that plus sized people are lazy, don't eat good food, and overall that they choose to be the size that they are. This is a photo of me when I was younger. Only a few short years later, I blew up and became pretty big for my age. Things stayed that way despite my being involved in some sports like softball and track and field (the field part) as well as marching band. I loved fruits and veggies (still do) so much so that I actually remember getting carrot packs in my stocking! |  |
My mom recently found her birth mother and we found out that she has struggled with her weight all her life as well. There are many people, women especially, with issues that cause them to be overweight. For example, PCOS is a fairly common problem many women deal with. It causes weight gain and makes it really hard to get pregnant. I don't struggle with that, but this is just an example!
2. DON'T DISCOUNT MY GREATNESS BECAUSE I'M PLUS SIZED
 | I recently went on a bit of a rant about this on my Instagram (go follow me!) because I faced a situation where I felt like someone with the same or fewer qualifications as I have was lifted above me and given recognition. The only difference was our size. This seemingly happens to me all the time. Because I don't meet an expected standard of societal beauty, I'm completely discounted. I'm not smart enough or pretty enough to be recognized for my greatness. This is one of the few -isms that still exist without a lot of people being angry about it. |
Sizeism is a real thing! Don't misinterpret what I'm saying. Obviously I agree that physically demanding jobs might not be the best for someone who is plus size. My only problem is when my expertise is discounted because of my size.
3: CHARGING AN OBSCENE AMOUNT OF MONEY FOR A SMALL SELECTION OF SEMI-STYLISH CLOTHING
68 percent of women in America are considered plus size. However, 16 percent of retailers actually sell plus size clothing.
| As someone who is plus size, I can tell you that I have very limited options for shopping for cute clothes, and most of those options are crazy expensive. I'm talking about stores like Lane Bryant and Torrid. Love their stuff, but it's really expensive. You would think with the number of people who get upset at plus size women wearing clothes that are "too small for them," more would be done to provide better options. If you want us to wear clothes designed for our bodies, help up campaign for affordable clothing for our bodies. I personally feel that anyone should be able to wear whatever they want so long as their cash and prizes aren't hanging out (just for a bit of decency in public). But this is a major issue. |  |
4: STOP MOVING THE GOAL POST
 | In an effort to skinny-fy the world, retail brands are moving the mark constantly. They are actually changing the sizing on their clothing. You can find a number of videos of women going to different shops and buying the size they usually wear only to find that some don't fit, some are perfect, and some are too large. |
Did you know that you are considered plus size if you wear a size 14? That's insane to me! It is also a major contributor to body image issues, of which more than half of all U.S. women say they struggle with. Do you get how hard it must be to lose weight and go into the store only to find that you're still wearing the same size at that store because of sizing changes?
Why isn't there a standard? We need to make this happen!
Why isn't there a standard? We need to make this happen!
5: DON'T TROLL PLUS SIZE HASHTAGS TO SELL YOUR WEIGHT LOSS PRODUCTS OR SERVICES
| This legit happened to me yesterday. I had shared a photo with plus size hashtags. Didn't share any hashtags about health, weight loss, or fitness. I got a comment on my photo from a "health and weight loss" coach who wanted to know if I would be interested in her services. This is a big no-no. |  |
If you're doing this, that's probably why you have to troll hashtags to find clients in the first place.
As we've already covered, plus size people can have issues beyond being an unhealthy eater who lays on the couch all day. I'm not saying that doesn't exist, but that isn't everyone. I get that this might be a marketing tactic, but we will honestly just shut you down. Why not comment on weight loss hashtags or health and fitness hashtags?
As a complete stranger, you don't know what I have done or am doing to lose weight. Some plus size people have actually been told by doctors that they need to get surgery because nothing else seems to be working for them. Many plus size people are confident with their bodies and don't want to come on to Instagram to that. I personally am for losing weight for health reasons, not for vanity. But your assumptions about my lifestyle will not result in a sale!
As a complete stranger, you don't know what I have done or am doing to lose weight. Some plus size people have actually been told by doctors that they need to get surgery because nothing else seems to be working for them. Many plus size people are confident with their bodies and don't want to come on to Instagram to that. I personally am for losing weight for health reasons, not for vanity. But your assumptions about my lifestyle will not result in a sale!
If you have ever seen photos of me, you know that I'm a plus size woman. As such, I have a pretty big passion for other people who are plus size. And, let's be honest, there's still so much hate geared toward the plus size community in today's world.
So, for today's post, I want to make the case for a plus-size Disney princess. With more and more children becoming body conscious at earlier ages, I think it is important to provide them with a realistic role model. I'll get in to that more later. So, here's the list:
So, for today's post, I want to make the case for a plus-size Disney princess. With more and more children becoming body conscious at earlier ages, I think it is important to provide them with a realistic role model. I'll get in to that more later. So, here's the list:
DISCLAIMER: Being skinny is not a bad thing, and my intent is not to "skinny shame." I think we can all agree that extremes on both ends can be very dangerous and shouldn't be promoted. Please remember this as you're reading!
1: WE FINALLY HAVE REPRESENTED A LOT OF OTHER DEMOGRAPHICS IN DISNEY MOVIES
 | While it took way too long to have a good representation, we finally have princesses who are people of color on the big screen. We also have the “I don’t need no man princesses” which of course are speculated to be the LGBTQ+ princesses. Not saying that is right, but it is at least something. So why don’t we have a plus size princess? The only plus size characters in Disney movies are fat villains or secondary characters that walk around in the back ground. |
2: MANY PEOPLE AREN'T PLUS SIZE BY CHOICE
| There’s still a lot of stigma around the plus size community, with many people saying that being plus sized is a result of laziness and poor eating habits. However, science doesn’t entirely back it up. There are a ton of medical issues that cause weight gain including thyroid problems and PCOS. |  |
Both of these are fairly common and make weight gain a lot easier and weight loss a lot harder. Also, are we really going to blame poor families for buying the cheap stuff that was badly processed for being overweight? Let’s not, OK?
3: EVEN SO, YOU’RE NOT PROTECTING PEOPLE AGAINST DANGEROUS HABITS
 | Did you know if you go on to Instagram right now and search #skinny, you’ll be prompted with a message that asks you if you’re OK with looking at those sorts of things? But, if you look up #fat, you’re directed to the page with no problem. I want to make sure everyone knows that I never search this hash tag, so Instagram isn't "tracking" that I'm looking at this hash tag. It's not like they are targeting repeated searchers of this hashtag. Everyone who searches this should receive this message. Furthermore, this is what you're greeted with before you get to the featured page. If you try to look at the "most recent" posts, it blocks you completely! It seems like expectations to meet a standard of skinny beauty is more harmful than promoting a girl with a lil meat (or fat) on her bones. |
4: BIG WOMEN HAVE BECOME FETISHIZED
| There are so many people in the world who don’t prefer skinny to plus size. I have another Instagram example. If you go and search #bbw or #bigbeautiful woman, you used to be met with half-naked photos of larger women. Now I saw this message for the first time today, but usually the aforementioned posts are what are out there. I think Instagram decided to crack down on this out of fairness, which I agree with. Now, while I believe that many of these women are super confident in their bodies, I also believe that many think that the only way they can get attention is to become someone’s fetish. By not giving young girls the ideal plus sized woman to look up to in a Disney film, you’re perpetuating the notion that skinny is always prettier and better than fat. |  |
5: SUPER-SKINNY PRINCESSES ARE NOT REALISTIC AND DO NOT MATCH THE BODY TYPES OF MOST PEOPLE
 | Of course I'm going to say that I never looked at Cinderella's waistline as a child and wondered why I couldn't be that thin, but I know that other children may have. Obviously, a lot of princesses were from a time when corsets were used to shape their bodies under dresses, so the figure makes some historical sense. However, does a kid know that? I didn't wear a corset until prom. Event then, it was more like a long-lined bra. Furthermore, the number of children growing up fat is increasing for different reasons. Almost always, this is attributed to laziness and poor eating habits. A lot of people are against a plus-sized princess because they believe she would "glamorize" obesity. I don't think so. |
In fact, the character could be shown being active and eating healthy. This could promote that lifestyle in children who want to be just like their favorite princess. I have a quick story.
In college, I had joined some of my sorority sisters in trying to get in shape. One of my sisters had been going to the gym every day, eating healthy, etc. She was a plus-sized girl, but she ran laps around our skinniest sisters. That's because she was active. Bodies don't respond the same to weight loss efforts. You can be in terrible shape and be skinny, and in a pretty good shape while plus-sized. This isn't a weird portrayal.
In college, I had joined some of my sorority sisters in trying to get in shape. One of my sisters had been going to the gym every day, eating healthy, etc. She was a plus-sized girl, but she ran laps around our skinniest sisters. That's because she was active. Bodies don't respond the same to weight loss efforts. You can be in terrible shape and be skinny, and in a pretty good shape while plus-sized. This isn't a weird portrayal.
THERE ARE OTHER REASONS
I'm considering a video where I cover these and a few other opinions on this. I just have to figure out how to go about it! Make sure you're watching my socials for a link to the video.
COMMENT: Do you think a plus-size Disney princess is a good or bad idea? Tell me why!
COMMENT: Do you think a plus-size Disney princess is a good or bad idea? Tell me why!
LEGAL: All photos were either taken from Pixabay, a Creative Commons website that requires no attribution for photos, or were found using Google's "free to use or share, even commercially, filter." The ones from Google are linked back to their original page.
As a millennial myself, I’ve heard a number of buzz words and phrases aimed at demeaning my generation. Some of those include lazy, entitled, emotional, uneducated, and stupid. But, for the most part, people of my age don’t all fall into that category.
However, the students who are a part of the college admission scandal seems to align well with the buzz words and phrases often applied to a whole group of people.
If you’re in the U.S., you’ve probably heard news lately of the University of Southern California’s high-profile college admissions scandal. If you haven’t, here’s some information:
However, the students who are a part of the college admission scandal seems to align well with the buzz words and phrases often applied to a whole group of people.
If you’re in the U.S., you’ve probably heard news lately of the University of Southern California’s high-profile college admissions scandal. If you haven’t, here’s some information:
 | Fifty people have been charged in federal court for conspiracy to illicitly gain admission for high school students to top colleges and universities, including the University of Southern California. Some notable names tied up in this conspiracy include Lori Loughlin (left), who played Becky on Full House, and Felicity Huffman from Desperate Housewives. Each of the 50 conspirators paid as much as $6.5 million to get their children into prestigious schools. This money may have been used to purchase a building on campus, donate to university advancement causes, or to bribe professors or administrators. |
The 50 were charged of this crime by a U.S. Attorney in the District of Massachusetts, with some scheduled to appear in court on March 29 in Boston.
AN ONGOING PROBLEM
| My immediate opinion is that, duh, this has been happening for years. I mean, just look at Hollywood. They’ve made a number of movies where the snobby rich kid’s parents donate to the college, and that makes them near untouchable. Did everyone think that was just a made-up movie antagonist? No, that happens in real life in colleges, universities, and prep schools around the globe. |  |
THIS IS WHY IT ISN'T OK
While more and more people are coming out in support of better and fairer college admissions, money still seemingly rules the world. No one should be admitted into a top school because mommy and daddy have money. Instead, they should get in because they worked hard in class and scored well on college admissions tests.
 | One thing that really frustrated me was that some of these parents even bribed testing officials to look the other way while their child cheated on the SATs. That isn’t fair to someone from the projects who doesn’t have money but busted their butt in class and in the library to ace the test in hopes of attending Harvard. |
But it runs much deeper than an undeserving student getting the spot of one who could have gotten there with their own brain and talent. According to TheAtlantic.com, students who graduate from a top school will earn 12 percent more than their peers who graduated from a standard college or university.
| This means that they are likely considered for and offered better jobs. Imagine Loughlin’s daughter becoming some CEO of a large company. She did absolutely nothing to get there, but she is now making decisions on things that could change the course of not only a company, but of the U.S. Many companies are tied up in politics, which is also largely influenced by campaign dollars. |  |
WAYS THE RICH HAVE CHEATED THE SYSTEM
Not only have famous and rich parents paid testing officials to allow their children to cheat on entrance exams, they have also hired writers to write papers for their children, bribed officials to note that their child has special needs that will give them extra time on their tests, and hired the best tutors in the world.
WHY IT FRUSTRATES MILLENNIALS
 | These kids are the stereotypical millennial. Almost every millennial out there isn’t like this, but these kids give our generation a terrible name. They don’t have to work hard at anything because they get everything handed to them. What is this teaching them? Nothing. |
This is the true definition of privilege. The fact that you can take away an opportunity that could have been given to someone who comes from a low-income household is just sick, and I’m glad the political system is doing something about it.
| I will say that what adds to millennial frustration is the fact that these people who are our peers become CEOs, sometimes even becoming our bosses. For those of us who went to college, studied in a field that will actually make us money, and joined a career, it is frustrating to have a complete idiot as a boss. They don’t know what they’re doing, and it shows. This frustrates our generation to no end because we can’t move forward in our careers. I’m glad I don’t have this issue personally, but I know that a number of people suffer because of it. |  |
MY OPINION
Colleges are vastly underfunded, which makes their need for financial support desperate. Perhaps if the U.S. political system would favor education and provide a better solution for debt repayment, scholarships, and financial aid, schools wouldn’t be tempted by offers like these.
But, it is crucial that you readers understand that these were top schools. They aren’t really wanting for money, they’re just being greedy.
But, it is crucial that you readers understand that these were top schools. They aren’t really wanting for money, they’re just being greedy.
 | In my opinion, we should do a sweep of all of the top schools and investigate for fraud. Charges should also be put against others who are found guilty of doing this. Students accused of fraud should be put on academic leave. If it were up to me, schools who accepted these funds should have to pay a penalty, as they were in the wrong as well. |
This money should go into underfunded high schools around the U.S. to give those students a better opportunity, especially when their opportunities were ripped away from previous students in earlier years.
CONCLUSION
In closing, I am not a mother. I’m sure that Loughlin was just trying to do all she could for her babies. But giving them everything they want and not teaching them to work for it is a mistake. It is leading our world to a scary place run by idiots who don’t know how to do their job. It is placing unneeded stress on workers who rank lower, which is causing an influx in depression and anxiety.
The U.S. is sad. No promotions. No raises. No praises for a job well done. I think attacking this issue head on will help improve mental health and job security around the country. What’s your opinion? I want to know!
The U.S. is sad. No promotions. No raises. No praises for a job well done. I think attacking this issue head on will help improve mental health and job security around the country. What’s your opinion? I want to know!
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