âTHIS BLOG CONTAINS MENTIONS OF HOW SEXUAL ASSAULT ACCUSATIONS ARE HANDLED.
Have you ever just woken up one day and realized that you deserve more? A real longing to make sure you're never treated as though you deserve less?
The last few years of my life have been nothing short of difficult all because of a job and one person at that job. It was affecting my health, both mentally and physically, as well as my outlook on life. I knew I had to get out of there, so I knuckled down to start looking very specifically for opportunities near mine and Jonathan's families.
âI happen to be plus size, so I have plenty of experience with society telling me to shut my mouth because the size of my body makes me less worthy of attention or respect. Add on to that that I'm a part of what I consider one of the most disrespected generations ever to walk the earth (millennials), and it's a recipe for disaster.
When I was growing up, even all the way to my college career, people said awful things about me to my face and behind my back. All of them were about my worth and my body size. Let me give you an example.
He had obvious anger issues, which can quickly turn dangerous, especially if you have no rights as far as disciplining the behavior with counseling or professional help since he isn't a student.
Keep in mind, I grew up in a time where school shootings and violence were becoming prevalent. Sandy Hook happened just after this, and I remember clearly learning about Columbine, the Virginia Tech shootings, and others. This guy had openly threatened my friend and was near stalking some others. Just like in many cases, he confided in one person that he wasn't supposed to be there and that he had serious mental issues. This person didn't speak up and let them continue in their bad behavior without warning any of us.
As I went through college, I started dating and graduated to get married a few years later to my college sweetheart, Jonathan. He makes me feel beautiful, no matter what I look like. Instead of focusing on how people treat me because of my body, a lot of my focus has now shifted to how people treat me because of my personality.
I will strike up a conversation, help people when I can, and generally be a kind human being.
This person made me so upset about who I was. I wasn't cringy or rude, and every person who came up to the booth was excited to receive a free drink and a little "welcome," from those at the booth. Yet I spent the rest of the day feeling like crap because someone thought I was doing too much.
Though he doesn't mean it, my brother teases me a lot for how loud and goofy I am. Because of the nature of our relationship (he's my older brother, so obviously he pushes my buttons, and I push his), it doesn't usually bother me. But I said something yesterday. â
I'm the one who will set the standard for how I'm perceived by making it clear what I will and will not tolerate when it comes to other people's behavior toward me.
Let's be clear: it is impossible for someone to be liked by everyone. I don't need to be liked, I just want the decency of basic human respect. That's all I want. Like anything else, this new journey will be a process, but it's something I need to embark on. It will be uncomfortable, but change is rarely anything but that. â
I hope if you're reading this and you're in a place where you aren't happy or you feel disrespected that you start making the moves you need to make to get out. Don't let disrespect go unrecognized. Know when to say something and when to let it roll off your back. But please, never tie your life or your worth to the opinions of others. You're worth so much more than that. â