Oh my! It's now 2019 and its time for yet another favorites post. I've had such a great month, mainly because I've gotten to try a number of things I was gifted for Christmas. Without further ado, let's get into today's favorites post!
JEFFREE STAR VELOUR LIP SCRUB | $12
JEFFREE STAR VELOR LIQUID LIPSTICK | $18
MORPHIE M143 LARGE FAN BRUSH | $7
AMAZON ECHO DOT | $30
TANTAN SMART PLUGS, 2-PACK | $19
MY FAVORITE YOUTUBE CHANNEL | THE INGHAM FAMILY
MY FAVORITE MOVIE | AQUAMAN
I'm not going to lie. Between my personal and professional life, I've had a good bit of disappointments, especially in the last year.
However, I've learned that there ways to deal with that disappointment that will help preserve the relationships you have now and help you create new, meaningful relationships while in the midst of disappointment.
I do want to point out that I am not a therapist or a relationship counselor, but I do have the experience of being the giver and receiver of these things, and the following solutions really seem to help me in particular:
KEEP IT OFF SOCIAL MEDIA
Resist the urge to vent and complain about someone on your social media. Instead, try to reach out to a few trusted individuals in your life who you feel you can vent to. There are also a ton of free programs and chat rooms filled with anonymous strangers you can rant to. For me, I like to talk to my mom, husband, and really close friends about the stress in my life. It keeps me sane.
TAKE SOME TIME TO DECOMPRESS
Go to a movie, head to the park, or try a new hobby. Take yourself away from the disappointment to give yourself time to recover and to think on how you should go about addressing the problem.
MAKE A LIST/TRY TO SOLVE THE ISSUE
If it has to do with your disappointment in your personal life, take a moment to think about what you can do better. The sad truth is that we can't change anyone and we can't make them be something or someone they aren't. What we can change is how we react to disappointment.
I really hope that these tips on dealing with disappointment will help you down the line. I know that, for me, they have helped to save and repair relationships that would otherwise have no chance! Sometimes, you have to change your reaction.
If that person that is disappointing you continues, however, it can be a cycle of abuse that you need to go ahead and break and leave behind you.
When I was growing up, my mom and grandparents used to buy our house a gift. It was normally new pots and pans for the kitchen or a vacuum cleaner for the carpets. I decided this year to carry this tradition over and purchase our home an Amazon Echo Dot.
Ever since setting it up, I have purchased some items to go with it that have made my life so much easier! Keep reading to learn more about how the Echo Dot can improve your day-to-day life.
STRETCHING YOUR BRAIN
I now load up the machine with coffee grinds and water the night before. When I wake up, I simply say "Alexa, turn on the coffee machine." She turns it on for me and it can make itself while I get ready for the day. After that, I just have to add in my sugar and creamer and I'm on my way out the door!
PRO-TIP: You don't have to spend a ton of money on Amazon products. Check on Amazon to see if the plug, smartbulb, or smart TV is compatible with Alexa!
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WEATHER FORECAST READER
*THIS POST IS NOT SPONSORED IN ANY WAY BY AMAZON!
DAY 1: MOVING BACKWARD IS NOT AN OPTION, AND STANDING STILL IS NOT ENOUGH
The first day of TED Talks featured Stacey Abrams, the first black woman in the history of the U.S. to be nominated for governor by a major party. Although Abrams lost the race, her TED Talk showed me that her loss didn’t kill her drive or spirit.
Her reasoning for wanting to become governor of Georgia was delivered through an anecdote, which I don’t want to spoil in case you decide to watch! She revealed that she lost the race for governor and was sad for a while, but she decided to keep pushing forward.
When she said “moving backward is not an option and standing still is not enough, I knew that was going to be what I took away from her talk. But how do you move forward after a loss? Abrams explained it was to ask yourself “what do I want, why do I want it, and how do I get it?”
They are simple questions. Going back to the why will fuel you to push for your how.
DAY 2: THE WORLD NEEDS TO EXPAND ITS RADIUS, BUT THAT IS MUCH EASIER SAID THAN DONE
Today's speaker was meteorologist J. Marshall Shepherd. He talks about the different biases that can effect the way we see the world.
Not unsurprisingly, Shepherd decided to focus most of his talk on the bias many people have on issues such as climate change. He explained that there are three types of biases that you may engage in when you come across dealing with an issue you have an inherent bias toward: confirmation bias (only finding evidence to support your existing belief), Dunning Kruger (believing you know more than you do about a topic), and cognitive dissonance (new info that contradicts our beliefs).
I for one believe that our climate is changing for the worse. However, there are plenty who believe differently. While I agree with Shepherd's premise, I found his speech wanting because he identified a serious problem without presenting a solution. In actuality, overcoming our biases, at least in America, will be next to impossible because we let it get so far before addressing the real problem.
Shepherd did say we should expand our radius, or knowledge, about science and other things. I also found this hard to digest because several things we used to observe as fact (like the age of the universe, medicines, and carbon dating) have since changed. We all need to think critically. That was my main take-away.
DAY 3: PROCRASTINATION EXISTS BEYOND DUE DATES
The speaker for this day is Tim Urban, a writer and illustrator for the website WaitButWhy.com.
Urban spent a lot of his time on the TED stage talking about his personal experience as a master procrastinator, reminiscing anecdotally on completing his 90-page thesis in 72 hours. He explained how the mind of the procrastinator works, saying that both the procrastinator and the non-procrastinator have decision makers, but the procrastinator has an "instant gratification monkey" who is all about fun and joy.
But Urban eventually got to a point where he talked about the dangers of procrastinating on things without deadlines. Things like relationships, pursing education, health, and others. We may seem like we have all the time in the world to meet these deadlines, but we don't, and they can catch up with us and ruin our lives.
I loved how Urban took a rather serious topic and put a funny spin on it!
DAY 4: LYING IS A COOPERATIVE ACT
Pamela Meyer, author of Liespotting, was today's speaker. Her book details a few was to spot a liar and teaches you how to protect yourself from that liar.
What I learned in this TED Talk was that lying is much more common than I thought, but we are much more to blame than I thought, as well. The signs of a liar are so telling that we are complicient in the lie. The fact that we can let someone get away with a lie is crazy!
I really did learn a lot about spotting lies and hope to change my position in the lie from a cooperative of it to a spotter of it. I think I might actually add Meyer's book to my Audible Wish List!
DAY 5: DON'T LET PAST REJECTION DICTATE FUTURE ASPIRATIONS
The speaker for today was Jia Jiang. He was a marketing executive for a Fortune 500 company and he started his own business when he was 30. He explains that he was long controlled by rejection he experienced as a child when no one in his class complemented him during a confidence-building exercise. He said that his childhood experience kept him from pursuing his dreams for fear of rejection.
Jiang decided to do a 100 days of rejection challenge where he decided to ask strangers for things that they would likely reject him for. His talk really taught me that the past is in the past and being rejected once doesn't mean I will always be rejected!
As I sat in the ballroom, my eyes heavy with sleep after waking up at 5 a.m. to ride almost two hours to a conference at High Point University in North Carolina, I wasn't expecting to learn much in the first hour or so.
Usually conferences like these start out with some mild life lessons many people have already learned, as well as a few announcements before we break off into small groups. I wasn't expecting to go to this conference to have myself challenged personally, but that's exactly what happened.
I have to say that I learned far more in that hour than I think I learned the entire day, which made it the best way to start my day. I want to share with you a few things that I learned, because they really sparked a change in me.
A FOOL SAYS, "I'LL DO MORE WHEN THEY PAY ME TO DO MORE"
CONFIDENCE COMES FROM COMPETENCE
There is truth to the saying "knowledge is power." When you know more, you can speak more confidently. You will have an air about you that will make people stop and wonder what got in to you. That's how I want people to look at me, and that is actually how many people want others to look at them.
SMALL STEPS MAKE BIG DIFFERENCES
NEVER SAY "I'M NOT CHANGING THE WORLD"
They have names of people and experiences lodged in their brains that helped them form in to who they have become. I bet you could ask anyone you know about their favorite teacher, and they could rattle off some touching and inspiring story on what their teacher said to them that changed their life.
You never know if you're communicating with the future president or some other person who will have great power and influence who can make that direct impact on the world. But it is your tutelage and your experience with them that may be a guiding force in making that decision.
Today's blog post is inspired by my two amazing rescue animals: my cat Rum Tum and my dog Maisel.
1. BE PREPARED TO CLEAN
2. DON'T SPEND MONEY ON THINGS YOU CAN DIY
3. YOUR PETS MAY NOT GET ALONG RIGHT AWAY
We've decided to give Maisel the house during the day and give Rum Tum the house at night. We also are slowly acclimating them to one another by letting them out at the same time under very watchful eyes. I think it is going pretty well. I really hope they will be best friends one day!
4. SCHEDULE A CHECK-UP RIGHT AWAY
We had to take her to a vet to get some medicine, and the vet did an exam on her. PetSmart and other clinics may offer a special general exam for your new animal. Have them checked out, especially if they will come in contact with other animals. Don't trust the shelter to have kept them up-to-date on everything.
5. PETS TAKE ENERGY
6. TRY TO STAY AWAY FROM CHICKEN PRODUCTS
7. GET TOYS THAT REPLACE THEIR BAD HABITS
Above everything else, be sure to love your adopted pets. Odds are, they were on the street or were surrendered by someone they really loved. They need the love and joy that comes with a new family!
Many of my friends will admit that they say two specific words a little bit too much: I'm sorry. It's become a sort of over-used phrase that we throw out there when we don't want to offend someone. But, those aren't the two words I believe we should stop using in 2019. You know what I think we need to stop using as often in 2019?
Because "I'm Sorry" has become a normal way to apologize or a normal phrase we throw out when we try not to offend someone, "It's OK" has become just as common. Why? Because we want to return politeness, or at least the idea of it, back to the person apologizing? Because it is a rational response to the question?
In today's post, I want to tell you why I think we all need to stop saying "It's OK" every time someone apologizes.
WHY YOU SHOULD STOP SAYING IT ALL THE TIME
You tell someone you love them or you are praying for them because you want them to feel loved or appreciated. The same can be said for when someone apologizes to you. Did they really mean it? Perhaps this is a bit of a cynical point of view. However, evidence shows me that most people are just concerned with what would be best for them. If that means avoiding an argument or maintaining a relationship that is beneficial for them, they will say whatever it takes.
The truth is, it is OK for something to not be OK. Everyone makes mistakes. But, perhaps if we were better about not saying "It's OK" after someone says "I'm Sorry," the power would be restored to the apology. It shouldn't be about just being polite. Some people are always going to be fine with inconveniencing you or hurting you to gain something for themselves.
- Your coffee has been sitting by the take out window for 10 or more minutes and the worker decides to walk off to talk to a coworker instead of taking 2 minutes to hand you your coffee so you won't be late for work.
- A company or venue goes against their own policy and thinks an "I'm Sorry" is good enough.
- A friend or family member says they are sorry for not liking someone you are in a relationship with.
- A friend or family member continually repeats the same action that hurts you and keeps saying they are sorry.
I could go on, but you get the gist.
WE ALL DO IT
I hope that today's blog post will help you to be more cautious is saying "It's OK" when someone does something they truly aren't sorry for. However, I hope it also helps you to be more conscientious of when to use the words "I'm Sorry."
The truth is, sometimes we aren't sorry. We should stop throwing around that word for the sake of politeness. Sometimes, you don't need to apologize for something, especially if it is out of your control. You don't need to apologize for something you aren't truly sorry for. But we all do it. It will take getting used to, but I'm determined to make it happen this year. I'm determined to restore the power of the apology by limiting my use of "I'm Sorry" and "I'm OK." I hope you are too!