âTHIS BLOG CONTAINS MENTIONS OF HOW SEXUAL ASSAULT ACCUSATIONS ARE HANDLED.
Have you ever just woken up one day and realized that you deserve more? A real longing to make sure you're never treated as though you deserve less?
The last few years of my life have been nothing short of difficult all because of a job and one person at that job. It was affecting my health, both mentally and physically, as well as my outlook on life. I knew I had to get out of there, so I knuckled down to start looking very specifically for opportunities near mine and Jonathan's families.
âI happen to be plus size, so I have plenty of experience with society telling me to shut my mouth because the size of my body makes me less worthy of attention or respect. Add on to that that I'm a part of what I consider one of the most disrespected generations ever to walk the earth (millennials), and it's a recipe for disaster.
When I was growing up, even all the way to my college career, people said awful things about me to my face and behind my back. All of them were about my worth and my body size. Let me give you an example.
He had obvious anger issues, which can quickly turn dangerous, especially if you have no rights as far as disciplining the behavior with counseling or professional help since he isn't a student.
Keep in mind, I grew up in a time where school shootings and violence were becoming prevalent. Sandy Hook happened just after this, and I remember clearly learning about Columbine, the Virginia Tech shootings, and others. This guy had openly threatened my friend and was near stalking some others. Just like in many cases, he confided in one person that he wasn't supposed to be there and that he had serious mental issues. This person didn't speak up and let them continue in their bad behavior without warning any of us.
As I went through college, I started dating and graduated to get married a few years later to my college sweetheart, Jonathan. He makes me feel beautiful, no matter what I look like. Instead of focusing on how people treat me because of my body, a lot of my focus has now shifted to how people treat me because of my personality.
I will strike up a conversation, help people when I can, and generally be a kind human being.
This person made me so upset about who I was. I wasn't cringy or rude, and every person who came up to the booth was excited to receive a free drink and a little "welcome," from those at the booth. Yet I spent the rest of the day feeling like crap because someone thought I was doing too much.
Though he doesn't mean it, my brother teases me a lot for how loud and goofy I am. Because of the nature of our relationship (he's my older brother, so obviously he pushes my buttons, and I push his), it doesn't usually bother me. But I said something yesterday. â
I'm the one who will set the standard for how I'm perceived by making it clear what I will and will not tolerate when it comes to other people's behavior toward me.
Let's be clear: it is impossible for someone to be liked by everyone. I don't need to be liked, I just want the decency of basic human respect. That's all I want. Like anything else, this new journey will be a process, but it's something I need to embark on. It will be uncomfortable, but change is rarely anything but that. â
I hope if you're reading this and you're in a place where you aren't happy or you feel disrespected that you start making the moves you need to make to get out. Don't let disrespect go unrecognized. Know when to say something and when to let it roll off your back. But please, never tie your life or your worth to the opinions of others. You're worth so much more than that. â
The term "Life Hacks" became prominent for me when Pinterest came around. Since it is finally summer, I figured now would be a great time to share some summer life hacks with you! Keep reading for more:
1. MAKE YOUR OWN SLUSHY
2. BEACH HACKS FOR THE BEST SUMMER EVER
This will prevent large amounts of sand from getting onto your relaxation spot.
3. Use baby powder to help remove stuck-on sand!
3. KEEP YOUR CAMPFIRE BUG-FREE
4. STAY PROTECTED FROM THE SUN AND SMELL GREAT
5. COOL YOUR DRINKS IN MINUTES
For me at least, it is officially summer. That means it’s time for sun, hopefully some pool time somewhere, and fun and colorful projects.
While visiting my family for Memorial Day weekend, we decided to do a craft. Instead of choosing something like a canvas, we decided clothing would be more useful for everyone!
What you’ll need:
STEP 1: BLEACH THE SHIRT
I spiraled my shirt the way I wanted it to look and kept it that way the entire time. If you want one that looks similar to mine, you can pinch the shirt in the middle and twist until the whole shirt is twisted together.
head to your sink, wet your shirt, and pour bleach on both sides. Using a gloved hand, massage the bleach into the shirt. Since it is nice and warm outside, I recommend sitting your shirt outside while the bleach does the job. It doesn’t take long. Check back in 30 minutes to find the shirt has turned white or light orange in certain places.
STEP 2: ADD YOUR DYES
Bring in your shirt and rinse it with water. Remember, leave the rubber bands in place so that you know the tie-dye will hit the bleached areas.
After that, add colors to your shirt in whatever places you desire. I noticed that all of the colors did show up, but lighter colors didn’t shine through as well. One tip on my tie-dye box said you could add less water to the dye bottles for a more intense color! I’d recommend doing that with lighter colors!
after you’re done with this part, take your shirt back outside to dry. Leave it for 2-24 hours. We left ours outside for maybe 4-5 hours.
STEP 3: WASH AND WEAR!
After you’ve let your tie-dye shirt “cure,” remove the rubber bands and put your shirt in the wash on cold. Add detergent/fabric softener! I was worried that mine having a bit of a bleach residue would ruin the other shirts, but it didn’t. However, wash with other things at your own risk!
after you wash the shirt, dry it and wear it!
If you’re a visual learner, check out this video for the process!
So today, I wanted to share with you the good, bad, and ugly parts of being in a sorority. Keep in mind while reading this that I’m speaking from my own experience at a smaller university. Everyone will have their own experiences. Without further ado, let’s get into this!
I am absolutely thrilled that I joined a sorority for a number of reasons. However, there are unfortunately more bad and ugly things to consider before you choose Greek life on your campus.
The first really good thing about joining a sorority is, if you join the right one, you are surrounded by a number of like-minded individuals who often care about the same things as you do. I loved that about my sorority!
Next, I really appreciated that, at my school, academics and involvement were always highly praised in the Greek system. I was awarded the Greek with the highest GPA award two years in a row. Our Greek system also gave awards for social events and philanthropy.
I learned that leaders have a really stressful job. While in my sorority, I served as both Vice President/Rush Chair and President. These were both extraordinarily difficult positions to hold, but I did the best I could with the life knowledge I had.
THE BAD AND THE UGLY
I’m just going to combine these two because they both can apply to all the situations I’m going to name here.
And if issues with other organizations aren’t enough, you will likely have situations where there is some sort of disparity in your own organization that causes fighting and issues among your members. This could be because of attendance, academic status, leadership issues, and more. If you’re in any position of leadership during these things, it all falls on you. It doesn’t matter if you’re staying neutral in your opinion.
All-in-all, I wouldn’t be who I am today if I hadn’t gone Greek. Some closing thoughts are that hazing was never an issue for me. My college has a no-tolerance hazing policy, and I believe there are state laws that are sort of against it, too. If you’re worried about that, talk to the Greek life coordinator at your college about that.
HE EITHER SAID SOMETHING FUNNY OR WISE
HE LOVED ELVIS
HE WAS A PROUD VETERAN
HE WAS A CARING MAN
HE WAS A GIVING MAN
HE WAS A GODLY MAN
HE WAS A SUPPORTIVE MAN
I'm not going to lie. Between my personal and professional life, I've had a good bit of disappointments, especially in the last year.
However, I've learned that there ways to deal with that disappointment that will help preserve the relationships you have now and help you create new, meaningful relationships while in the midst of disappointment.
I do want to point out that I am not a therapist or a relationship counselor, but I do have the experience of being the giver and receiver of these things, and the following solutions really seem to help me in particular:
KEEP IT OFF SOCIAL MEDIA
Resist the urge to vent and complain about someone on your social media. Instead, try to reach out to a few trusted individuals in your life who you feel you can vent to. There are also a ton of free programs and chat rooms filled with anonymous strangers you can rant to. For me, I like to talk to my mom, husband, and really close friends about the stress in my life. It keeps me sane.
TAKE SOME TIME TO DECOMPRESS
Go to a movie, head to the park, or try a new hobby. Take yourself away from the disappointment to give yourself time to recover and to think on how you should go about addressing the problem.
MAKE A LIST/TRY TO SOLVE THE ISSUE
If it has to do with your disappointment in your personal life, take a moment to think about what you can do better. The sad truth is that we can't change anyone and we can't make them be something or someone they aren't. What we can change is how we react to disappointment.
I really hope that these tips on dealing with disappointment will help you down the line. I know that, for me, they have helped to save and repair relationships that would otherwise have no chance! Sometimes, you have to change your reaction.
If that person that is disappointing you continues, however, it can be a cycle of abuse that you need to go ahead and break and leave behind you.
DAY 1: MOVING BACKWARD IS NOT AN OPTION, AND STANDING STILL IS NOT ENOUGH
The first day of TED Talks featured Stacey Abrams, the first black woman in the history of the U.S. to be nominated for governor by a major party. Although Abrams lost the race, her TED Talk showed me that her loss didn’t kill her drive or spirit.
Her reasoning for wanting to become governor of Georgia was delivered through an anecdote, which I don’t want to spoil in case you decide to watch! She revealed that she lost the race for governor and was sad for a while, but she decided to keep pushing forward.
When she said “moving backward is not an option and standing still is not enough, I knew that was going to be what I took away from her talk. But how do you move forward after a loss? Abrams explained it was to ask yourself “what do I want, why do I want it, and how do I get it?”
They are simple questions. Going back to the why will fuel you to push for your how.
DAY 2: THE WORLD NEEDS TO EXPAND ITS RADIUS, BUT THAT IS MUCH EASIER SAID THAN DONE
Today's speaker was meteorologist J. Marshall Shepherd. He talks about the different biases that can effect the way we see the world.
Not unsurprisingly, Shepherd decided to focus most of his talk on the bias many people have on issues such as climate change. He explained that there are three types of biases that you may engage in when you come across dealing with an issue you have an inherent bias toward: confirmation bias (only finding evidence to support your existing belief), Dunning Kruger (believing you know more than you do about a topic), and cognitive dissonance (new info that contradicts our beliefs).
I for one believe that our climate is changing for the worse. However, there are plenty who believe differently. While I agree with Shepherd's premise, I found his speech wanting because he identified a serious problem without presenting a solution. In actuality, overcoming our biases, at least in America, will be next to impossible because we let it get so far before addressing the real problem.
Shepherd did say we should expand our radius, or knowledge, about science and other things. I also found this hard to digest because several things we used to observe as fact (like the age of the universe, medicines, and carbon dating) have since changed. We all need to think critically. That was my main take-away.
DAY 3: PROCRASTINATION EXISTS BEYOND DUE DATES
The speaker for this day is Tim Urban, a writer and illustrator for the website WaitButWhy.com.
Urban spent a lot of his time on the TED stage talking about his personal experience as a master procrastinator, reminiscing anecdotally on completing his 90-page thesis in 72 hours. He explained how the mind of the procrastinator works, saying that both the procrastinator and the non-procrastinator have decision makers, but the procrastinator has an "instant gratification monkey" who is all about fun and joy.
But Urban eventually got to a point where he talked about the dangers of procrastinating on things without deadlines. Things like relationships, pursing education, health, and others. We may seem like we have all the time in the world to meet these deadlines, but we don't, and they can catch up with us and ruin our lives.
I loved how Urban took a rather serious topic and put a funny spin on it!
DAY 4: LYING IS A COOPERATIVE ACT
Pamela Meyer, author of Liespotting, was today's speaker. Her book details a few was to spot a liar and teaches you how to protect yourself from that liar.
What I learned in this TED Talk was that lying is much more common than I thought, but we are much more to blame than I thought, as well. The signs of a liar are so telling that we are complicient in the lie. The fact that we can let someone get away with a lie is crazy!
I really did learn a lot about spotting lies and hope to change my position in the lie from a cooperative of it to a spotter of it. I think I might actually add Meyer's book to my Audible Wish List!
DAY 5: DON'T LET PAST REJECTION DICTATE FUTURE ASPIRATIONS
The speaker for today was Jia Jiang. He was a marketing executive for a Fortune 500 company and he started his own business when he was 30. He explains that he was long controlled by rejection he experienced as a child when no one in his class complemented him during a confidence-building exercise. He said that his childhood experience kept him from pursuing his dreams for fear of rejection.
Jiang decided to do a 100 days of rejection challenge where he decided to ask strangers for things that they would likely reject him for. His talk really taught me that the past is in the past and being rejected once doesn't mean I will always be rejected!
As I sat in the ballroom, my eyes heavy with sleep after waking up at 5 a.m. to ride almost two hours to a conference at High Point University in North Carolina, I wasn't expecting to learn much in the first hour or so.
Usually conferences like these start out with some mild life lessons many people have already learned, as well as a few announcements before we break off into small groups. I wasn't expecting to go to this conference to have myself challenged personally, but that's exactly what happened.
I have to say that I learned far more in that hour than I think I learned the entire day, which made it the best way to start my day. I want to share with you a few things that I learned, because they really sparked a change in me.
A FOOL SAYS, "I'LL DO MORE WHEN THEY PAY ME TO DO MORE"
CONFIDENCE COMES FROM COMPETENCE
There is truth to the saying "knowledge is power." When you know more, you can speak more confidently. You will have an air about you that will make people stop and wonder what got in to you. That's how I want people to look at me, and that is actually how many people want others to look at them.
SMALL STEPS MAKE BIG DIFFERENCES
NEVER SAY "I'M NOT CHANGING THE WORLD"
They have names of people and experiences lodged in their brains that helped them form in to who they have become. I bet you could ask anyone you know about their favorite teacher, and they could rattle off some touching and inspiring story on what their teacher said to them that changed their life.
You never know if you're communicating with the future president or some other person who will have great power and influence who can make that direct impact on the world. But it is your tutelage and your experience with them that may be a guiding force in making that decision.
I started to experience something at the end of each work day that was troubling me: I had no energy.
For someone who literally sits at a desk for the majority of the day, this bothered me. I wasn’t doing anything physical and I just didn’t understand why I was so drained of my energy. This was bothering me because I didn’t even have the energy to do household chores like wash clothes or do the dishes. So, I tried a couple of things and also researched a few things.
So, if you’re someone who seems to be zapped of your energy after a day at work, keep reading for a few things I found that can help you stay energized enough to power through your work at home!
GET YOUR BLOOD TESTED
Low iron levels can also cause weakness, pale skin, shortness of breath, dizziness, food cravings, tongue swelling, cold hands and feet, irregular heartbeats, brittle nails, and headaches. I found in my research that a lot of women my age struggle with this due to menstruation. The fix, however is pretty easy.
In order to improve your iron levels, you can either eat more iron-rich foods (like broccoli, dark chocolate, and lean red meats) or you can take iron supplement pills which are sold over-the-counter.
DRINK MORE WATER
To remedy this, I made a rule for myself that I actually shared in yesterday’s blog post. My water rule is that I must consume my recommended amount of water before I have a soda. My FitBit app suggests that I have about 65 fluid ounces of water a day. I also make myself finish about 26 oz of water before I have my morning coffee. This helps me stay hydrated and keeps me from drinking too much soda!
HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE
Lately, I’ve been saving my unused brewed coffee from the morning in a separate pitcher that I have an iced coffee from when I get home. It keeps me from wasting coffee and from brewing up another batch when I get home.
HAVE A SNACK
CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES
Instead of changing into what I’m going to wear for bed, I have started to change into sweat pants or shorts, a t-shirt, and into my sneakers. I’m less tempted to lay down on the bed and I’m more apt to get up and actually do something productive when I’m dressed and in shoes.
DITCH THE HEAT
As the winter months approach, it is so tempting for me to turn on the heat to stay cozy in my car, but I’ve noticed that heat is one thing that furthers my energy level decline. Instead of putting on the heat, try turning it on until you “defrost” and then turning all air in your car off. You cal also lower the heat setting in your car or even crack your windows for a refreshing cool breeze that will help your eyes stay open on the way home and when you get there!
MOVE MORE DURING THE DAY
I work on a campus, so I can walk around throughout the day if I need to. If someone gives you trouble about it, you can always bring up that coworker who spokes for 15 minutes a few times a day on the clock!
AVOID SUGARY FOODS IN VENDING MACHINES
There are tons of ways to avoid the after-work crash, but these are a few ideas that have worked for me! Do you have any tips to keep us from crashing after a long, stressful day of work? Leave them in the comments below!
If you aren't a blogger and you're curious to know what life is like as "one of us," I hope you find this entertaining. If you are a blogger, I'm sure you can relate to at least one of these things! If you like this, I hope you'll give it a share so we can all have a good laugh!
1. TRYING TO FIND A SQUARE-INCH OF CLEAN SPACE ON A COUNTER TOP OR DESK IN YOUR HOUSE TO TAKE A PHOTO FOR YOUR LATEST BLOG POST
2. THAT FEELING WHEN YOU'VE FINISHED WITH BLOGTOBER OR BLOGMAS
3. THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU RUSH TO YOUR COMPUTER WHEN YOU GET IN FROM WORK OR A DAY OUT SO YOU CAN WRITE ON THAT BLOG POST TOPIC THAT INSPIRED YOU
4. WHEN YOU FINALLY GET TAGGED FOR A BLOGGER PEER AWARD
5. WHEN YOU DECIDE TO WRITE ABOUT A NEW SUBJECT THAT YOU'RE TOTALLY UNEDUCATED ON
6. WHEN YOU TRY OUT A RECIPE FROM PINTEREST FOR YOUR BLOG BUT IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THE PICTURE
7. WHEN YOU NEED TO GO TO THE CRAFT STORE FOR THINGS FOR YOUR BLOG, BUT YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER SAYS NO
8. WHEN SOMEONE YOU KNOW IRL SAYS: EW, YOU HAVE A BLOG?
9. AND WHEN YOU GO ON TWITTER TO RANT ABOUT SAID RUDE PERSON AND YOUR FOLLOWERS NEED TO KNOW EVERY DETAIL
10. WHEN SOMEONE LEAVES A WELL-THOUGHT-OUT COMMENT ON YOUR BLOG POST
11. LAUGHING AT YOUR OWN BLOG POST TITLES BECAUSE THEY'RE SO PUNNY
12. WHEN YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO FOR YOUR NEXT BLOG POST, BUT THAT FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER WHO READS RELIGIOUSLY SENDS YOU IDEAS
13. WHEN YOUR PETS, KIDS, OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER TRYS TO INTERRUPT YOUR BLOGGING TIME
14. YOUR WALLET AFTER PAYING FOR SUPPLIES FOR YOUR BLOG POSTS
15. CONSTANTLY CHECKING YOUR GOOGLE ADS ACCOUNT TO SEE IF YOU'VE EARNED ANY MORE MONEY FROM AD CLICKS
16. GETTING WORRIED THAT YOUR CONTENT ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH WHEN YOU SEE YOU HAVEN'T EARNED ANY MONEY
17. GETTING REASSURANCE FROM FELLOW BLOGGERS THAT YOU DON'T SUCK AND YOUR READERSHIP WILL CONTINUE TO GROW IF YOU STAY CONSISTENT
18. AND FINALLY...HOW YOU FEEL KNOWING THAT YOU'VE WRITTEN AND SCHEDULED YOUR BLOGS FOR THE WEEK!
I hope you enjoyed this fun post, and I hope it was relatable enough to my fellow bloggers! Did I miss anything? Tell me what else we struggle with in the comments below!