TRIGGER WARNING:
​THIS BLOG CONTAINS MENTIONS OF HOW SEXUAL ASSAULT ACCUSATIONS ARE HANDLED.
Have you ever just woken up one day and realized that you deserve more? A real longing to make sure you're never treated as though you deserve less?
​ The last few years of my life have been nothing short of difficult all because of a job and one person at that job. It was affecting my health, both mentally and physically, as well as my outlook on life. I knew I had to get out of there, so I knuckled down to start looking very specifically for opportunities near mine and Jonathan's families.
​I happen to be plus size, so I have plenty of experience with society telling me to shut my mouth because the size of my body makes me less worthy of attention or respect. Add on to that that I'm a part of what I consider one of the most disrespected generations ever to walk the earth (millennials), and it's a recipe for disaster.
When I was growing up, even all the way to my college career, people said awful things about me to my face and behind my back. All of them were about my worth and my body size. Let me give you an example.
He had obvious anger issues, which can quickly turn dangerous, especially if you have no rights as far as disciplining the behavior with counseling or professional help since he isn't a student.
Keep in mind, I grew up in a time where school shootings and violence were becoming prevalent. Sandy Hook happened just after this, and I remember clearly learning about Columbine, the Virginia Tech shootings, and others. This guy had openly threatened my friend and was near stalking some others. Just like in many cases, he confided in one person that he wasn't supposed to be there and that he had serious mental issues. This person didn't speak up and let them continue in their bad behavior without warning any of us.
As I went through college, I started dating and graduated to get married a few years later to my college sweetheart, Jonathan. He makes me feel beautiful, no matter what I look like. Instead of focusing on how people treat me because of my body, a lot of my focus has now shifted to how people treat me because of my personality.
I will strike up a conversation, help people when I can, and generally be a kind human being.
This person made me so upset about who I was. I wasn't cringy or rude, and every person who came up to the booth was excited to receive a free drink and a little "welcome," from those at the booth. Yet I spent the rest of the day feeling like crap because someone thought I was doing too much. Though he doesn't mean it, my brother teases me a lot for how loud and goofy I am. Because of the nature of our relationship (he's my older brother, so obviously he pushes my buttons, and I push his), it doesn't usually bother me. But I said something yesterday. ​
I'm the one who will set the standard for how I'm perceived by making it clear what I will and will not tolerate when it comes to other people's behavior toward me.
Let's be clear: it is impossible for someone to be liked by everyone. I don't need to be liked, I just want the decency of basic human respect. That's all I want. Like anything else, this new journey will be a process, but it's something I need to embark on. It will be uncomfortable, but change is rarely anything but that. ​
I hope if you're reading this and you're in a place where you aren't happy or you feel disrespected that you start making the moves you need to make to get out. Don't let disrespect go unrecognized. Know when to say something and when to let it roll off your back. But please, never tie your life or your worth to the opinions of others. You're worth so much more than that. ​
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I love clothing, and I really wish I had more of it. But, style has become really important to me. However, a lot of people don’t understand that some traditional style suggestions might not work well for plus size ladies in particular.
I want to make it clear that I believe anyone should be able to wear whatever they want! These are just suggestions to make your photos look better and to make your other friends envious of your style. PLEASE also know that I am not an expert, but a plus-size gal with 25 years of experience in a plus-size body! So, here are a few tips: 1: OPT FOR VERTICAL STRIPES
2: THINK BIG WITH ACCESSORIES (FOR THE MOST PART)
3: PLAY WITH PRINTS
4: DRESS FOR YOUR BODY SHAPE
I believe that I have more of an apple figure, as I carry most of my weight in my midsection. I love dresses that taper just under the bust and flare out. This, for my body type, draws attention away from my midsection!
I really liked this blog that explains body shape. Scroll down, click the shapes, read the description, and find which shape you believe fits you best: http://www.thechicfashionista.com/body-shapes.html For me at least, it is officially summer. That means it’s time for sun, hopefully some pool time somewhere, and fun and colorful projects. While visiting my family for Memorial Day weekend, we decided to do a craft. Instead of choosing something like a canvas, we decided clothing would be more useful for everyone!  What you’ll need:
STEP 1: BLEACH THE SHIRT I spiraled my shirt the way I wanted it to look and kept it that way the entire time. If you want one that looks similar to mine, you can pinch the shirt in the middle and twist until the whole shirt is twisted together. head to your sink, wet your shirt, and pour bleach on both sides. Using a gloved hand, massage the bleach into the shirt. Since it is nice and warm outside, I recommend sitting your shirt outside while the bleach does the job. It doesn’t take long. Check back in 30 minutes to find the shirt has turned white or light orange in certain places. STEP 2: ADD YOUR DYES Bring in your shirt and rinse it with water. Remember, leave the rubber bands in place so that you know the tie-dye will hit the bleached areas. After that, add colors to your shirt in whatever places you desire. I noticed that all of the colors did show up, but lighter colors didn’t shine through as well. One tip on my tie-dye box said you could add less water to the dye bottles for a more intense color! I’d recommend doing that with lighter colors! after you’re done with this part, take your shirt back outside to dry. Leave it for 2-24 hours. We left ours outside for maybe 4-5 hours. STEP 3: WASH AND WEAR!After you’ve let your tie-dye shirt “cure,” remove the rubber bands and put your shirt in the wash on cold. Add detergent/fabric softener! I was worried that mine having a bit of a bleach residue would ruin the other shirts, but it didn’t. However, wash with other things at your own risk! after you wash the shirt, dry it and wear it! If you’re a visual learner, check out this video for the process! Coming up on a year ago, I decided that I had enough of the white walls surrounding me in my full-time job's office. So, I got to work decorating. A lot of what I did was DIY, so I wanted to share that as well as some decor and functional decor tips in today's blog post! Without further ado, here we go! YOUR THEME
DIY 1: DYED CURTAINS & CUSTOM PICTURE FRAMES
I used a gold glitter ribbon to gather the sides of the curtain, and I tacked them into the wall. I also added fairy light, which were great for a while, but they don't last very long. You have to be religious about turning them off. DIY 2: WINDOW TASSELS
DIY 3: CORK BOARD PIN STATION
DIY 4: CUSTOM-PAINTED SUPPLY JARS
FUNCTIONAL DECOR 1: BUSINESS CARD/NAME PLATE
FUNCTIONAL DECOR 2: PINEAPPLE OIL DEFUSER
FUNCTIONAL DECOR 3: COFFEE/TEA STATION
OTHER TIPS
So today, I wanted to share with you the good, bad, and ugly parts of being in a sorority. Keep in mind while reading this that I’m speaking from my own experience at a smaller university. Everyone will have their own experiences. Without further ado, let’s get into this! THE GOODI am absolutely thrilled that I joined a sorority for a number of reasons. However, there are unfortunately more bad and ugly things to consider before you choose Greek life on your campus. The first really good thing about joining a sorority is, if you join the right one, you are surrounded by a number of like-minded individuals who often care about the same things as you do. I loved that about my sorority!
Next, I really appreciated that, at my school, academics and involvement were always highly praised in the Greek system. I was awarded the Greek with the highest GPA award two years in a row. Our Greek system also gave awards for social events and philanthropy.
I learned that leaders have a really stressful job. While in my sorority, I served as both Vice President/Rush Chair and President. These were both extraordinarily difficult positions to hold, but I did the best I could with the life knowledge I had. THE BAD AND THE UGLYI’m just going to combine these two because they both can apply to all the situations I’m going to name here.
And if issues with other organizations aren’t enough, you will likely have situations where there is some sort of disparity in your own organization that causes fighting and issues among your members. This could be because of attendance, academic status, leadership issues, and more. If you’re in any position of leadership during these things, it all falls on you. It doesn’t matter if you’re staying neutral in your opinion.
CLOSING THOUGHTSAll-in-all, I wouldn’t be who I am today if I hadn’t gone Greek. Some closing thoughts are that hazing was never an issue for me. My college has a no-tolerance hazing policy, and I believe there are state laws that are sort of against it, too. If you’re worried about that, talk to the Greek life coordinator at your college about that.
As a member of a University staff, and as a graduate myself, I think that college is monumentally important. Not only is it important to help you earn a degree that can be used in a career, but it is also important to help you acclimate to living life on your own and to becoming a good citizen within a community. But, there are undoubtedly things that I wish I had known before I enrolled! Since people are starting to get acceptance letters, I thought this would be a great post to make. If you want to learn more, keep reading: 1: YOU'LL PROBABLY HAVE A BREAKDOWN
According to the Association for University and College counseling Center directors, 95 percent of college counseling center directors say that psychological problems are a growing concern on their campus. This is why it is so important to never be too prideful or scared to seek out help. Most colleges either have a center for mental health services, or they have outside resources that can help you! 2: IT'S OK TO SAY NO
So, whenever I got in to college, I got really involved. I was in a number of clubs and organizations, including my sorority, and I was also really involved in my major. It took me until my senior year to realize that it is OK to say no. Remember that you are there to get your education. Not to plan social events, work on outside projects, etc. 3: COLLEGE FRIENDS WILL BE YOUR BFFS
I believe that this has to do with the fact that you are friends with these people during one of the most challenging moments of your life. On top of that, you finally understand when you graduate that you don’t have to talk to someone every single day to be their friend. All of my friends and myself have our own lives. But, we make a point to pick up where we left off when we see each other again! 4: PREPARE FOR DRAMA OF SOME SORT
She brought back guys and her cousin to our room most nights. When she came in, she would wake me up and be really noisy and turn the lights on. Sometimes, your RA or RC won’t understand how bad the situation is. When this happened, my mom actually had to come down and confront my RC because she wasn’t doing anything about the situation. But, it all got handled and I didn’t have any more problems. After that, I moved in to my sorority house. Is it even a sorority house without drama? No. 5: YOUR PLANS MIGHT CHANGE, AND THAT’S OK
Your advisors and staff members around your college campus can help you decide what might be the best choice for you. You have time, and it isn’t a reason to panic. 6: MAKE A SCHEDULE AND STICK TO IT
This will help you make time for appointments, trips to the gym, homework and study time, time to call your family and update them on your day, and time with friends. This gives you a great work-home-friend-body-school balance! CONCLUSIONI actually started writing a seventh tip only on work study, but I think that could be an entire post on its own. If you’re going to college, thinking about going back, or in your last years of study, I hope this can help you to improve your time in school!
DAY 1: MOVING BACKWARD IS NOT AN OPTION, AND STANDING STILL IS NOT ENOUGH The first day of TED Talks featured Stacey Abrams, the first black woman in the history of the U.S. to be nominated for governor by a major party. Although Abrams lost the race, her TED Talk showed me that her loss didn’t kill her drive or spirit. Her reasoning for wanting to become governor of Georgia was delivered through an anecdote, which I don’t want to spoil in case you decide to watch! She revealed that she lost the race for governor and was sad for a while, but she decided to keep pushing forward. When she said “moving backward is not an option and standing still is not enough, I knew that was going to be what I took away from her talk. But how do you move forward after a loss? Abrams explained it was to ask yourself “what do I want, why do I want it, and how do I get it?” They are simple questions. Going back to the why will fuel you to push for your how. DAY 2: THE WORLD NEEDS TO EXPAND ITS RADIUS, BUT THAT IS MUCH EASIER SAID THAN DONEToday's speaker was meteorologist J. Marshall Shepherd. He talks about the different biases that can effect the way we see the world. Not unsurprisingly, Shepherd decided to focus most of his talk on the bias many people have on issues such as climate change. He explained that there are three types of biases that you may engage in when you come across dealing with an issue you have an inherent bias toward: confirmation bias (only finding evidence to support your existing belief), Dunning Kruger (believing you know more than you do about a topic), and cognitive dissonance (new info that contradicts our beliefs). I for one believe that our climate is changing for the worse. However, there are plenty who believe differently. While I agree with Shepherd's premise, I found his speech wanting because he identified a serious problem without presenting a solution. In actuality, overcoming our biases, at least in America, will be next to impossible because we let it get so far before addressing the real problem. Shepherd did say we should expand our radius, or knowledge, about science and other things. I also found this hard to digest because several things we used to observe as fact (like the age of the universe, medicines, and carbon dating) have since changed. We all need to think critically. That was my main take-away. DAY 3: PROCRASTINATION EXISTS BEYOND DUE DATESThe speaker for this day is Tim Urban, a writer and illustrator for the website WaitButWhy.com. Urban spent a lot of his time on the TED stage talking about his personal experience as a master procrastinator, reminiscing anecdotally on completing his 90-page thesis in 72 hours. He explained how the mind of the procrastinator works, saying that both the procrastinator and the non-procrastinator have decision makers, but the procrastinator has an "instant gratification monkey" who is all about fun and joy. But Urban eventually got to a point where he talked about the dangers of procrastinating on things without deadlines. Things like relationships, pursing education, health, and others. We may seem like we have all the time in the world to meet these deadlines, but we don't, and they can catch up with us and ruin our lives. I loved how Urban took a rather serious topic and put a funny spin on it! DAY 4: LYING IS A COOPERATIVE ACTPamela Meyer, author of Liespotting, was today's speaker. Her book details a few was to spot a liar and teaches you how to protect yourself from that liar. What I learned in this TED Talk was that lying is much more common than I thought, but we are much more to blame than I thought, as well. The signs of a liar are so telling that we are complicient in the lie. The fact that we can let someone get away with a lie is crazy! I really did learn a lot about spotting lies and hope to change my position in the lie from a cooperative of it to a spotter of it. I think I might actually add Meyer's book to my Audible Wish List! DAY 5: DON'T LET PAST REJECTION DICTATE FUTURE ASPIRATIONSThe speaker for today was Jia Jiang. He was a marketing executive for a Fortune 500 company and he started his own business when he was 30. He explains that he was long controlled by rejection he experienced as a child when no one in his class complemented him during a confidence-building exercise. He said that his childhood experience kept him from pursuing his dreams for fear of rejection.
Jiang decided to do a 100 days of rejection challenge where he decided to ask strangers for things that they would likely reject him for. His talk really taught me that the past is in the past and being rejected once doesn't mean I will always be rejected! Merry Christmas everyone! Hopefully you all had a relaxing and fun Christmas Day! I wanted to share with you what we are doing this Christmas. I'd love to hear from you as well, so please drop a comment below and let me know what you did for Christmas! Here are our plans! WAKE UP AND ENJOY SOME FOOD!
HEAD TO JONATHAN'S GRANDPARENT'S HOUSE!
HOPEFULLY SEEING MY GRANDPA!
PRESENTS WITH MY FAMILY!
CHRISTMAS DINNER
I'm always down to save money when I have the chance. That's why I've started to do some things that help to save without majorly interrupting my life. I wanted to share these with my readers in hopes that they help you! DON'T THROW OUT THAT COFFEE
However, if you just pour unused coffee down the sink, you're just wasting money! Instead, I've started to pour my excess coffee into a pitcher and refrigerate it. When I get home, I have cold coffee waiting. I can simply add in my cream, sugar, and some ice for iced coffee that will help me get through my writing assignments and blog posts! SIGN UP FOR SAVINGS PROGRAMS WITH YOUR BANK
PICK UP YOUR GROCERIES
This service was first introduced to me by my mom. It is great for moms with children who may not be easy to handle in the store, for people with busy lives, and for disabled people. All you do is order online, reserve a pickup time, and arrive. The employees will load your cart up for you. Sometimes, they may not have exactly what you asked for, but they always give you fair substitutions. This service is free and is a great way to stick to your list without making impulse buys! FOLLOW MY WATER RULE
I also don't drink my morning coffee until I've had at least one 26 fl oz glass of water. This helps me to save money because I'm not drinking a ton of coffee or soda. It also helps keep my hydrated and focused throughout the day! DONATE TO A THRIFT STORE
HAVE A FREE DATE NIGHT
CONCLUSIONThere are so many other things you can do to save money and to live your best life, but these are ones that I've tried and will probably continue to do unless I become a millionaire! Do you have any money-saving tips? Let me know below!
If you aren't a blogger and you're curious to know what life is like as "one of us," I hope you find this entertaining. If you are a blogger, I'm sure you can relate to at least one of these things! If you like this, I hope you'll give it a share so we can all have a good laugh! 1. TRYING TO FIND A SQUARE-INCH OF CLEAN SPACE ON A COUNTER TOP OR DESK IN YOUR HOUSE TO TAKE A PHOTO FOR YOUR LATEST BLOG POST 2. THAT FEELING WHEN YOU'VE FINISHED WITH BLOGTOBER OR BLOGMAS 3. THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU RUSH TO YOUR COMPUTER WHEN YOU GET IN FROM WORK OR A DAY OUT SO YOU CAN WRITE ON THAT BLOG POST TOPIC THAT INSPIRED YOU 4. WHEN YOU FINALLY GET TAGGED FOR A BLOGGER PEER AWARD 5. WHEN YOU DECIDE TO WRITE ABOUT A NEW SUBJECT THAT YOU'RE TOTALLY UNEDUCATED ON 6. WHEN YOU TRY OUT A RECIPE FROM PINTEREST FOR YOUR BLOG BUT IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THE PICTURE 7. WHEN YOU NEED TO GO TO THE CRAFT STORE FOR THINGS FOR YOUR BLOG, BUT YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER SAYS NO 8. WHEN SOMEONE YOU KNOW IRL SAYS: EW, YOU HAVE A BLOG? 9. AND WHEN YOU GO ON TWITTER TO RANT ABOUT SAID RUDE PERSON AND YOUR FOLLOWERS NEED TO KNOW EVERY DETAIL 10. WHEN SOMEONE LEAVES A WELL-THOUGHT-OUT COMMENT ON YOUR BLOG POST 11. LAUGHING AT YOUR OWN BLOG POST TITLES BECAUSE THEY'RE SO PUNNY 12. WHEN YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO FOR YOUR NEXT BLOG POST, BUT THAT FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER WHO READS RELIGIOUSLY SENDS YOU IDEAS 13. WHEN YOUR PETS, KIDS, OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER TRYS TO INTERRUPT YOUR BLOGGING TIME 14. YOUR WALLET AFTER PAYING FOR SUPPLIES FOR YOUR BLOG POSTS 15. CONSTANTLY CHECKING YOUR GOOGLE ADS ACCOUNT TO SEE IF YOU'VE EARNED ANY MORE MONEY FROM AD CLICKS 16. GETTING WORRIED THAT YOUR CONTENT ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH WHEN YOU SEE YOU HAVEN'T EARNED ANY MONEY 17. GETTING REASSURANCE FROM FELLOW BLOGGERS THAT YOU DON'T SUCK AND YOUR READERSHIP WILL CONTINUE TO GROW IF YOU STAY CONSISTENT 18. AND FINALLY...HOW YOU FEEL KNOWING THAT YOU'VE WRITTEN AND SCHEDULED YOUR BLOGS FOR THE WEEK! CONCLUSIONI hope you enjoyed this fun post, and I hope it was relatable enough to my fellow bloggers! Did I miss anything? Tell me what else we struggle with in the comments below!
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