It takes just one glace at my social media or even my blog to know that I’m a fat woman. I’ve seen so much on my TikTok for you page as well as on social media in general about legislation that is currently being discussed that would end discrimination against fat people.
There are so many reasons I support this, but of course the main one is that I am fat, and I have several family members who would identify as fat, too. We’ve all faced our fair share of issues due to our body sizes. Let’s talk about the other reasons, all of which I’ve experienced, why I would support legislation like this.
HEALTH CARE DISPARITIES
It’s gone further for me. OBGYNs (several of them) have refused to work with me when it comes to my longing to become a mother due to my body size. They say they have valid medical concerns, and I think that is partly true. However, I do feel like people of all sizes can have a child and be healthy, so refusal to assist in the medical side of conception due to someone’s size seems discriminatory to me.
But I’m disheartened at the number of people who were told everything wrong with their body was due to their size. I remember hearing the story of one young lady who was told her back pain was due to her body size. She hustled in the gym and completely changed her lifestyle to lose weight only to find out she had a major issue in her spine. In fact, she tried to get out of bed one day and her whole leg went numb.
If a doctor would have just listened to her, she wouldn’t have experienced other issues that affected her health. That’s a problem, and it needs to be handled.
There is also an unfortunate issue with insurance companies and prescription drug manufacturers. There may be a drug that can help you lose weight, but your insurance typically won’t cover it unless you have diabetes or pre-diabetes. So effectively, the insurance company is saying “we’ll only help you if your fatness leads to a real and serious medical condition,” instead of helping you afford the medication which could steer you far from those conditions.
JOBS AND OPPORTUNITIES
I’ve even been at work when a fellow fat person told me we both couldn’t be on an elevator at the same time because it would be dangerous. An elevator that can carry about a ton of weight, which wouldn’t be the equivalent of two people who can actually move around and work.
I’ve also had a former boss who said something to our group about taking someone outside of our department out for lunch. He said he would have to pay a lot of the meal because the guy was “a big boy.”
So, you see, no matter if it is getting a job or opportunity, or if it is simply being targeted on the job with hateful rhetoric, fatphobia is an issue. It can take opportunities away from someone who truly deserves something and has worked hard for it. This kind of discrimination should be illegal.
ACCESS TO RESOURCES AND ACTIVITIES
The same shirt will be two to three dollars more than one in a smaller size. And sometimes, you’ll be lucky to find anything in your size.
If you do find something, it’s likely an older-looking pattern that just isn’t something most young women would want to wear. On top of that, some smaller people will buy up all of the pieces designed for larger bodies as wear it as an “oversized” clothing item.
Then there is the more serious matter of the exclusion from activities we could otherwise do if designs were inclusive to people with bigger bodies. For example, few may know the embarrassment felt when you have to de-board from a roller coaster because the safety belt won’t fit.
A ton of famous parks, including Harry Potter World from my understanding, have few rides that can accommodate bigger bodies. I find that particularly funny, because one of the most beloved characters in the Harry Potter Franchise is Hagrid who is himself a fat man.
Some of things that aren’t designed with bigger bodies in mind include bathroom stalls, airline seats, subway turn stops, many styles of chairs and more.
There are so many fat people struggling with eating disorders because someone told them just to stop eating.
In fact, many people who are fat are genetically predisposed to it. They have family who are all fat, as well. In addition, so many of the affordable foods on the shelf are filled with sodium and other “bad-for-you” ingredients, which also makes this an economic issue.
Assuming anything about anyone is just dangerous and stupid. That fat person you’re telling not to eat may be experiencing food insecurity at home and might not have eaten for days.
So, what do you think? After reading this or living it yourself, could you see yourself supporting legislation that would outlaw size discrimination? Let me know in the comments. Let’s chat.
Finding a Halloween costume can be tough, so why not make it easier by using staples you can find in your closet. Keep reading for a few ideas.
Let's get social:
8 FALL DATE IDEASRead Now
Cozy season is here, and the best way to celebrate is to cuddle up to your honey and celebrate the fall season with special date ideas. No matter if you're a boyfriend or husband struggling to come up with new ideas for your fall-loving girlfriend, wife or partner, or if you just want some unique ideas of things to do even on your own or with family, I've got you covered.
1. A DRIVE OR WALK IN FALL FOLIAGE
2. FALL CRAFT DATE
3. HALLOWEEN MOVIE MARATHON
4. SHOPPING SPREE/WINDOW SHOPPING
5. HAY RIDE, PUMPKIN PATCH OR CORN MAZE
6. SEE A SHOW OR WATCH A GAME
7. SELF CARE DAY
8. BAKING/COOKING DATE
LET'S GET SOCIAL:
MY HALLOWEEN MUG COLLECTIONRead Now
Everyone has that one thing that they can't resist buying. For some people, that's shoes or bags, maybe even hats. But for me, it's definitely cups and mugs.
Today, I want to show off a few of my Halloween cups and mugs and let you know where I got them (if I know) so you can snag them for yourself.
HALLOWEEN QUEEN - HOME GOODS
SUGAR SKULL MUG - HOME GOODS
BLACK CATS - THE CHRISTMAS TREE SHOP
HOCUS POCUS MUG - HOME GOODS
SALLY MUG - THRIFT STORE
FLORAL SKULL WINE GLASSES - A GIFT, SO NOT SURE!
My boss got me a gift chock full of skulls and sugar skulls, including these stemless wine glasses. I love that they are colorful, and they would be great to use to enjoy any colder beverage. I'm excited to use these this month and really throughout the year.
LET'S GET SOCIAL
As I'm sure all of you know by now, I'm a Halloween junkie. I love to check out the Halloween decor section anywhere I go, so I know a lot of the great places to shop for affordable Halloween decor that will fit your vibe for this season. Let's get into it.
WALMART AND TARGET
MICHAEL'S CRAFT STORE
THE CHRISTMAS TREE SHOP
Let's get social:
Each year, I kick off my Spooktober content with a birthday post. Usually it is about things I've learned over the years. But, I thought I'd switch it up a bit and talk about my feelings toward being a year closer to 30 and what I hope to accomplish before then.
As far as my feelings, I feel a little behind. I got married pretty young, but a lot of my peers already have children. Every OBGYN I've talked to has refused to help me on a journey to conceiving due to my size. I've been told to get various weight loss surgeries (many of which statistically don't work out long term) because my body size could pose a threat to my health.
I've always wanted a child. As I approach 30, I am made increasingly aware that it is more difficult for women to conceive a child the older they get. That's not lost on me.
Next, I at least want to start research into having a child. I know tons of bigger women who have had children with no problem, but I know everyone is different. â
However, I know that educating myself on handling situations as a neurodivergent person will ultimately help me.
I think that is all. Thirty isn't quite here yet, but I think trying to accomplish these things will help me achieve the goals I'd like to achieve by next year.
I hope you'll stay tuned for Spooktober throughout the month. I'll be sharing content from my Blog or my YouTube channel each day this month. Hope to see you back here, and please feel free to comment.
ENTERING INTO A NEW ERARead Now
âTHIS BLOG CONTAINS MENTIONS OF HOW SEXUAL ASSAULT ACCUSATIONS ARE HANDLED.
Have you ever just woken up one day and realized that you deserve more? A real longing to make sure you're never treated as though you deserve less?
The last few years of my life have been nothing short of difficult all because of a job and one person at that job. It was affecting my health, both mentally and physically, as well as my outlook on life. I knew I had to get out of there, so I knuckled down to start looking very specifically for opportunities near mine and Jonathan's families.
âI happen to be plus size, so I have plenty of experience with society telling me to shut my mouth because the size of my body makes me less worthy of attention or respect. Add on to that that I'm a part of what I consider one of the most disrespected generations ever to walk the earth (millennials), and it's a recipe for disaster.
When I was growing up, even all the way to my college career, people said awful things about me to my face and behind my back. All of them were about my worth and my body size. Let me give you an example.
He had obvious anger issues, which can quickly turn dangerous, especially if you have no rights as far as disciplining the behavior with counseling or professional help since he isn't a student.
Keep in mind, I grew up in a time where school shootings and violence were becoming prevalent. Sandy Hook happened just after this, and I remember clearly learning about Columbine, the Virginia Tech shootings, and others. This guy had openly threatened my friend and was near stalking some others. Just like in many cases, he confided in one person that he wasn't supposed to be there and that he had serious mental issues. This person didn't speak up and let them continue in their bad behavior without warning any of us.
As I went through college, I started dating and graduated to get married a few years later to my college sweetheart, Jonathan. He makes me feel beautiful, no matter what I look like. Instead of focusing on how people treat me because of my body, a lot of my focus has now shifted to how people treat me because of my personality.
I will strike up a conversation, help people when I can, and generally be a kind human being.
This person made me so upset about who I was. I wasn't cringy or rude, and every person who came up to the booth was excited to receive a free drink and a little "welcome," from those at the booth. Yet I spent the rest of the day feeling like crap because someone thought I was doing too much.
Though he doesn't mean it, my brother teases me a lot for how loud and goofy I am. Because of the nature of our relationship (he's my older brother, so obviously he pushes my buttons, and I push his), it doesn't usually bother me. But I said something yesterday. â
I'm the one who will set the standard for how I'm perceived by making it clear what I will and will not tolerate when it comes to other people's behavior toward me.
Let's be clear: it is impossible for someone to be liked by everyone. I don't need to be liked, I just want the decency of basic human respect. That's all I want. Like anything else, this new journey will be a process, but it's something I need to embark on. It will be uncomfortable, but change is rarely anything but that. â
I hope if you're reading this and you're in a place where you aren't happy or you feel disrespected that you start making the moves you need to make to get out. Don't let disrespect go unrecognized. Know when to say something and when to let it roll off your back. But please, never tie your life or your worth to the opinions of others. You're worth so much more than that. â
OUR MULTIGENERATIONAL HOMERead Now
Today, I want to talk a little bit about Jonathan and I's housing situation. We made the decision, with the input from my mom and brother, to move back into the house I grew up in. We live there with my mom and my brother.
I wanted to write about this because there's this stigma about living with your parents, and I don't really understand it. Jonathan and I lived on our own and payed full bills for more than 5 years in a different city away fro m both of our families.
When looking for a new job, I knew it felt like the right time to move back toward home so we could be closer to our families. We have lost several influential family members, including both of my grandparents who had a huge hand in raising me with my mom, and Jonathan's dad.
However, I really started to have a lot of issues with my immediate manager. I don't want to go too far into it, but I was having frequent anxiety attacks, and I had to start medications for depression and high blood pressure after he became my supervisor. I knew wholeheartedly that my heightened anxiety and depression was due to this manager. I had to get out of that situation for my own health, and I'm thankful there was ample room at my mom's house for us to settle in.
The move has allowed us to spend more time with our support systems. This gives us a ton of comfort. It also has become really important to us that we spend time with our families after being away for so long.
I'm also excited to have a significant increase in my salary, and Jonathan is currently working a job that pays him weekly. So our finances are getting better, and we are relying less on a credit card!
We also take out our own trash. Since I do the laundry, Jonathan handles our trash. He and my brother swap off on the lawn work. Jonathan is super happy there is a riding lawnmower, because our house has a pretty big front and back yard, which is great for the dogs!
I actually tried my hand and mowing and did an OK job, but Jonathan went back over the areas I missed and did the entire back yard last time.
BREAKING THE STIGMA
My main motivation for making this post is the break the stigma associated with living with your parents. As long as you're contributing to the household, I don't believe it should be frowned upon, especially not in this economy.
I've proven we can live alone and handle our own bills fully. But this way of living is better financially for everyone involved. I always found it funny that when you're young, you live with your parents and then when your parents are older, they live with you. For whatever reason, people are convinced they shouldn't live with you in the middle of your life.
But I'm loving this chapter. I'm around my family and Jonathan's family, working at a job that I've been loving, and focusing once again on making content and taking care of myself mentally and physically.
I was having a conversation the other day with some colleagues about what's coming back into style and, as it goes, it's the 2000s turn to come back into style.
While I was born in 1993, I grew up in the 2000s. While there are some trends in fashion that would be cool to see emulated in today's fashion, there are other trends I hope we stay away from.
SOCKS WITH DRESS SHOES
WHAT I'D LOVE TO SEE
Summer is officially here, and I am so excited to share with you some ideas on how you can make this summer the best one ever. Check out my list, and comment below if you've ever done any of these before!
1. GO TO A LIVE SHOW
2. SUMMER CONCERT SERIES
3. GO ON A DAY TRIP
4. GET ICE CREAM OR ICEES
5. FIND SOME WATER AND GO SWIMMING
6. VISIT A PARK OR ZOO